The start of a new year always seems to symbolize rebirth. It's the start of a new year, time to wipe the slate clean, you know? I don't know how much I 'believe' in that. I haven't made a new years resolution ever that I have stuck with. It's not a huge priority of mine. I make small goals throughout the year and strive for them. I don't use the beginning of a new calender year as a starting point. I know there are people who do and that works for them and that's awesome! I turned over a new "leaf" this week and begun striving to lose the Christmas weight I packed on in December. Six nasty little pounds found its way into my body (what? eating chips and fast food for a whole month makes you gain weight? mind blowing!) but I am on my way to losing those and the extra that I'm still carrying from my pregnancy. I started P90X2 with a friend this week. We are on Day 4 and I don't see myself stopping anytime soon. 86 days from now I will have a new body because I said I'll have a new body, not because the calender tells me it's time to start striving for one.
I can't believe that 2011 is almost over. How fast did this year go by, seriously? Does anyone else think that the older we get, the faster the time seems to slip by? It's kind of scary. I remember being in Grade 6 and thinking "omg, 6 more years of school until I'm FREE" and those 6 years went by so s l o w l y. And now, here I am at 24, six years post-high school graduation and thinking about how fast the last six years have gone. Scary! I hope I find a way to slow time down so I can learn to live in the moment and enjoy the great life that I have.
I don't say that often enough, I really don't. I have a great life. I have a loving hubby who accepts me for who I am, flaws and all. In fact, what I've always considered my greatest flaw (my sensitivity and emotions), he finds endearing and adorable. Because of that, I've learned to accept that I'm a sensitive person. Yes, I'm going to cry during TV commercials and torture myself with sad Youtube videos. That's who I am. And he accepts that and now, so do I :) ! I have a beautiful daughter who means the world to me. I can't imagine life without her. She has taught me so much about myself, about life and even about TJ. It's amazing to see the world through her eyes. It's like being a kid again. She gets excited about the silliest things and it renews MY excitement for the same types of things. Nothing is more rewarding than having her come up to me, randomly, giving me a hug and saying that she loves me. It makes all the sleepless nights and tears MORE than worth it. I have a job with amazing perks that keeps me motivated to become a better, more healthy version of myself. I have wonderful friends who keep me grounded. I have a home which operates as it should 99% of the time lol. I really can't complain.
2011 was a great year, one I will not forget, that's for sure. A trip to Vegas, a trip to California and my wedding! It was probably one of the best years of my life, I would have to say. So many amazing memories were made and I'm so blessed to have had the chance to experience the things I did during the past year. Aside from the trips and the wedding, one of the most amazing things about this year was watching Melina grow up. Holy man! This girl has learned so much this year and it just blows my mind. She was almost completely potty trained in the week I was home between my Vegas vacation and our California vacation! She knows how to count to 20 (almost! she misses 15 for some reason), she knows her ABCs, she loves to sing, it's just amazing seeing all of the milestones she has hit this year. I love seeing her personality evolve. I wonder what sorts of things she will have accomplished by this time next year? I can't even begin to fathom!
I am excited to see what 2012 is going to bring myself and my family. =] I'm looking forward to the start of the new year, even though this past one was incredible. Happy New Years everyone!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
A woman's true beauty is the reflection of her inner happiness.
You are a beautiful human being.
How often do any of us hear that phrase? Honestly? When was the last time someone said that to you? Sure, there may be some of us who hear it from our husbands or boyfriends or when we were out at the bar last weekend. But when those people say it are they referring to your inner beauty or your appearance on the outside?
Beauty is not how much you weigh, your pant size, how long your hair is, your eye colour, the brand of clothing that you adorn your body with. Beauty isn’t measured by the number on the scale or the inches around your waist. True beauty isn’t any of these things. It makes me so mad and is such a shame that the media and society has conditioned us to view beauty in this way.
When was the first time you thought yourself imperfect? Think hard. Do you want your children to think that way about themselves at that age? For me, I started obsessing over my appearance very early on in elementary school. The thought of Melina being like that makes me sick to my stomach. I love the age she is at now. She is so happy with everything. She doesn’t look in the mirror and feel self-conscious or worry about the way she looks. I wish it could stay like this forever. I tell Melina every chance I get how beautiful I think she is. Not only that, but I compliment her personality too, which I think is MORE important than just telling her that she’s beautiful. Yes, it’s important for every little girl to hear she’s beautiful. But I think telling her she’s smart is even more important. We’re always commenting on Melina’s intelligence around her because she IS smart and she always impresses us. Even though she may not fully understand what “being smart” means, you can bet that she’s making note of it.
I left a note in the hotel room our family stayed in this weekend for the maid. I love leaving notes for the maids and have done it on quite a few occasions. This note, I stuck on the mirror in the bathroom and wrote “You are beautiful. Do not forget it.” I hope I made her day. People need to be reminded of this more often. You don’t have to be a size 0 or be the owner of luscious locks to be beautiful. Being beautiful is being YOU. It is a shame that some people spend their whole lives trying to fit the conventional standards of beauty in order to impress someone, when the true beauty of their being lies in their minds, in their personalities, not in their appearance.
I do not fit the conventional standards of beauty in ANY sense. I’m short. I have love handles. I wear my glasses even though I really don’t need to. My hair is constantly pulled back in a headband or ponytail (when it’s long enough). My skin decided to channel it’s inner teenager in my 20’s because I had awesome skin in high school but now I’m constantly breaking out. I’m so imperfect but that is what makes me, me! I am proud of my sense of humour. My awkward dorky sort of humour. I like my strength in the face of adversity! I am a video game nerd and bookworm and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I I am proud of my awkwardness in many social situations because I think it’s endearing. I often don’t know the right things to say, but dammit, I try! And if it comes out sounding weird and awkward, then so be it. That’s just part of who I am. It has taken me all of my life to be happy with who I am but I think I am finally getting there. I can look past my imperfect appearance and see the pretty awesome person who is inside. I’m not saying I don’t have annoying personality traits because, let’s be honest, we all do. But I think my positive traits far outweigh the negative.
I may not fit the 6’0”, 115 lbs, long luscious locks and bright blue eyes standard of beauty, but I’ll be damned if I’m not beautiful.
How often do any of us hear that phrase? Honestly? When was the last time someone said that to you? Sure, there may be some of us who hear it from our husbands or boyfriends or when we were out at the bar last weekend. But when those people say it are they referring to your inner beauty or your appearance on the outside?
Beauty is not how much you weigh, your pant size, how long your hair is, your eye colour, the brand of clothing that you adorn your body with. Beauty isn’t measured by the number on the scale or the inches around your waist. True beauty isn’t any of these things. It makes me so mad and is such a shame that the media and society has conditioned us to view beauty in this way.
When was the first time you thought yourself imperfect? Think hard. Do you want your children to think that way about themselves at that age? For me, I started obsessing over my appearance very early on in elementary school. The thought of Melina being like that makes me sick to my stomach. I love the age she is at now. She is so happy with everything. She doesn’t look in the mirror and feel self-conscious or worry about the way she looks. I wish it could stay like this forever. I tell Melina every chance I get how beautiful I think she is. Not only that, but I compliment her personality too, which I think is MORE important than just telling her that she’s beautiful. Yes, it’s important for every little girl to hear she’s beautiful. But I think telling her she’s smart is even more important. We’re always commenting on Melina’s intelligence around her because she IS smart and she always impresses us. Even though she may not fully understand what “being smart” means, you can bet that she’s making note of it.
I left a note in the hotel room our family stayed in this weekend for the maid. I love leaving notes for the maids and have done it on quite a few occasions. This note, I stuck on the mirror in the bathroom and wrote “You are beautiful. Do not forget it.” I hope I made her day. People need to be reminded of this more often. You don’t have to be a size 0 or be the owner of luscious locks to be beautiful. Being beautiful is being YOU. It is a shame that some people spend their whole lives trying to fit the conventional standards of beauty in order to impress someone, when the true beauty of their being lies in their minds, in their personalities, not in their appearance.
I do not fit the conventional standards of beauty in ANY sense. I’m short. I have love handles. I wear my glasses even though I really don’t need to. My hair is constantly pulled back in a headband or ponytail (when it’s long enough). My skin decided to channel it’s inner teenager in my 20’s because I had awesome skin in high school but now I’m constantly breaking out. I’m so imperfect but that is what makes me, me! I am proud of my sense of humour. My awkward dorky sort of humour. I like my strength in the face of adversity! I am a video game nerd and bookworm and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I I am proud of my awkwardness in many social situations because I think it’s endearing. I often don’t know the right things to say, but dammit, I try! And if it comes out sounding weird and awkward, then so be it. That’s just part of who I am. It has taken me all of my life to be happy with who I am but I think I am finally getting there. I can look past my imperfect appearance and see the pretty awesome person who is inside. I’m not saying I don’t have annoying personality traits because, let’s be honest, we all do. But I think my positive traits far outweigh the negative.
I may not fit the 6’0”, 115 lbs, long luscious locks and bright blue eyes standard of beauty, but I’ll be damned if I’m not beautiful.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Go for it now. The future is promised to no one.
Life Quotes
It’s like something ‘clicked’ in my brain sometime in the last couple of months because I have been so happy – the happiest I’ve been in a couple of years, in fact! And it’s been amazing. I feel like a fog has been lifted and I am loving it.
Let’s be honest, the past two years have been a struggle for my family. TJ’s accident was exactly two years ago on October 24th. I will never forget the little tiny details of that day, like what we had for lunch (grilled cheese sandwiches and sweet potato fries) or what time I got that phone call from the RCMP saying TJ was in an accident (10:44 p.m.) but I finally feel like I’ve come to terms with the accident and the changes that came because of it. I have struggled silently with anger and sadness as a result of what our family has gone through, but, as I said, I finally feel like the dark little cloud surrounding me is gone and I can see the good things that I have going for me.
Yay me, right?
Because things have been going so well, I’ve been noticing differences in my personality and feelings of self-worth. I’m not so self-conscious anymore. For example, if I were at the gym two years ago and there were boys there working out, I’d stick to cardio machines only. I didn’t want to lift weights in front of boys. But now, I head to the weight racks without a second thought! As a result of my increased confidence, I took a huge step today and signed up for a course I’ve been looking into seriously the past year or so. If you know me at all you’d know that the one thing that really bothers me about myself and my life (and has bothered me since high school) is my lack of insight into what I want to do with my future. I’ve gone through every profession from teacher to lawyer to writer to criminologist to forensic psychologist to photographer to...well...you name it, seriously. And while it’s true that a lot of those topics still interest me to a certain degree, I have never believed in my capabilities to pursue a career in any of those fields.
Then in 2008, my life changed. Aside from having my beautiful daughter in October (she, btw, celebrating her third birthday last Sunday! Yikes! Time flies TOO fast), I also packed on some serious poundage. I was nearly 200 lbs when I had Melina which is +60 lbs from what I weighed when I got pregnant. I was huge, unhappy and flabby. Then I bit the bullet one day and bought a gym membership. It seemed like a chore at the time but the weight falling off of me made me continue going. In 2009, TJ & I joined a Biggest Loser competition in our town and lost some more weight together and it was then that the ‘monster’ in me was awakened. I love fitness. I love exercising. I don’t even view it as a chore anymore. I own a 1000 workout DVDs, programs and books (okay, that’s a slight exaggeration of course but if you ask TJ he will lie and tell you I actually do own a 1000). So, today I signed up for a personal training certification class. It’s done through correspondence so I can do all my course work from home which is convenient. And I have to say, I am SO pumped to start learning more about this field, even just for my own benefit as an exercise! I can’t wait to learn about the human body and relive some of the things I hated learning about in high school (when I was also overweight and didn’t care about health/fitness). I will admit, however, that my sights aren’t set at becoming a personal trainer right away. I am one of those people who needs to be 110% sure of something before I set my mind to it and I feel that taking more courses in this field before I even think about training someone would be beneficial for me. I want to know everything I possibly can! I don’t want to do this wishy-washy. I want to learn more about proper nutrition and, conveniently enough, the same association from which I’m taking the personal trainer course offers a nutrition certificate as well.
I am excited for the text book to be on my door step in a few days and to dive into it head first. I want to learn and I’m so thrilled to be about to embark on a learning journey in something that I truly am passionate about! Hip hip hurray!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Every man dies - but not every man really lives.
There are so many things that I want to do with my life and oh-so-many adventures I haven’t yet had the chance to experience. I have created a few different bucket lists since finding out what they were in high school. Some of these items on my NEW list are silly but some of them mean the world to me and if I never get the chance to accomplish them before I die, I feel like I’d be letting myself down.
The first bucket list I had I started back in 2003 and had goals that really only pertained to my life as it was then, in high school. One of my ‘dreams’ in 2003 was to be someone’s grad escort. I never was. Do I regret not being someone’s grad escort? Not at all. It’s funny how things like that seemed like such a huge deal back then. There were many things on my Bucket List 03’ that I have been able to cross off like fall in love, get married, ride a roller coaster, become a waitress (haha. I was a ‘measly’ hostess at the time I created the list, obviously), have a baby, go to California, etc. Many of the things on that list that I didn’t get to accomplish just have fallen to the way side over the years. Sky diving was a huge “MUST DO” for most of my life. In March of this year, I went indoor skydiving in Las Vegas with my girl friends and it was terrifying. I don’t think I would survive a real sky dive without having a panic attack now. :P
In the summer of 2006, the first summer of mine and TJ’s relationship, I created a Summer Bucket List. TJ saw it in my room one day and vowed to help me cross off as many things as I could with him that summer. I’ll be honest, the things on that list were completely immature and ridiculous (like “stay up all day and night” which TJ did help me accomplish one drunken evening when I went to work at 6 a.m. still kinda sorta a little bit drunk. Sorry Mom) but some of my favourite memories were created that summer. <3
Enough chit chat, here are 25 things on my new and improved bucket list.
1. Make a difference in someone’s life.
2. Take Melina to Disneyland/Disneyworld
3. Have the ability to say that I am proud of myself for something
4. Accept my body. Flaws and all.
5. Go to Paris
6. Fly first class. Just one time.
7. Go on a solo adventure to a faraway place just to prove I can be independent
8. Become an advocate for something I believe in
9. Run a 10K
10. Run a half marathon
11. Catch fireflies in a jar
12. Write like I used too
13. Go to New York City
14. Fly in a hot air balloon
15. Learn to play the piano
16. Learn to play the guitar
17. Pay for the guy behind me’s order at Tim Horton’s
18. Zipline
19. Learn to swim. Good.
20. Swim with dolphins
21. Watch the sunrise over the ocean
22. Find my talent. Perfect it to the best of my ability.
23. Get a degree, certificate, diploma, something!
24. Climb a mountain
25. Ride a mechanical bull
What’s on your bucket list?
The first bucket list I had I started back in 2003 and had goals that really only pertained to my life as it was then, in high school. One of my ‘dreams’ in 2003 was to be someone’s grad escort. I never was. Do I regret not being someone’s grad escort? Not at all. It’s funny how things like that seemed like such a huge deal back then. There were many things on my Bucket List 03’ that I have been able to cross off like fall in love, get married, ride a roller coaster, become a waitress (haha. I was a ‘measly’ hostess at the time I created the list, obviously), have a baby, go to California, etc. Many of the things on that list that I didn’t get to accomplish just have fallen to the way side over the years. Sky diving was a huge “MUST DO” for most of my life. In March of this year, I went indoor skydiving in Las Vegas with my girl friends and it was terrifying. I don’t think I would survive a real sky dive without having a panic attack now. :P
In the summer of 2006, the first summer of mine and TJ’s relationship, I created a Summer Bucket List. TJ saw it in my room one day and vowed to help me cross off as many things as I could with him that summer. I’ll be honest, the things on that list were completely immature and ridiculous (like “stay up all day and night” which TJ did help me accomplish one drunken evening when I went to work at 6 a.m. still kinda sorta a little bit drunk. Sorry Mom) but some of my favourite memories were created that summer. <3
Enough chit chat, here are 25 things on my new and improved bucket list.
1. Make a difference in someone’s life.
2. Take Melina to Disneyland/Disneyworld
3. Have the ability to say that I am proud of myself for something
4. Accept my body. Flaws and all.
5. Go to Paris
6. Fly first class. Just one time.
7. Go on a solo adventure to a faraway place just to prove I can be independent
8. Become an advocate for something I believe in
9. Run a 10K
10. Run a half marathon
11. Catch fireflies in a jar
12. Write like I used too
13. Go to New York City
14. Fly in a hot air balloon
15. Learn to play the piano
16. Learn to play the guitar
17. Pay for the guy behind me’s order at Tim Horton’s
18. Zipline
19. Learn to swim. Good.
20. Swim with dolphins
21. Watch the sunrise over the ocean
22. Find my talent. Perfect it to the best of my ability.
23. Get a degree, certificate, diploma, something!
24. Climb a mountain
25. Ride a mechanical bull
What’s on your bucket list?
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Imagination rules the world
I have done a lot of stupid things in my life - things that I should be embarrassed of and definitely not admitting in this blog. But I am not embarrassed to say I’ve learned these lessons the hard way because, let’s be honest, it’s pretty funny. My lack of common sense in some situations is mind blowing at times. I’ve decided to compile a short list of “life lessons I learned the hard way” because it strays away from the serious topics I usually talk about and is a fun blog entry for once!
(1) Peaches Hurt.
Everybody knows that peaches have fuzz on them. But, what I bet you weren’t aware of is that once the peach is rubbed on your face, those seemingly harmless little fuzzies become painful shards stuck in your pores. Seriously. For some reason one day I decided to feel what the peach fuzz would feel like when I rubbed it on my face. It was harmless enough. But, after rolling it around on my face a few times, I put the peach away and then rubbed my face. Sure enough, those “fuzzies” imbedded themselves into every pore and my face became a bed of sharp prickles. It was incredibly awkward and painful for a few days whenever I rubbed my face.
(2) Curling Irons Also Hurt.
Another smart move in my life occurred one day when I was curling my hair. Everyone knows that curling irons are hot. It’s a pretty obvious fact. But, what’s NOT hot on the curling iron that my Mom had was the little white tip at the end of the iron that you can hold onto while you’re curling your hair. I’ve touched it a thousand times with my hands and had never burned me. So, one day while curling my hair, I decided to be a dork and touch the tip of the curling iron (the part covered in plastic) onto my tongue to “see what would happen.” Sure enough, the white tip somehow became as hot as the iron itself and I burned my tongue. I felt special when someone asked me what I did to burn my tongue and I told them I licked a curling iron.
(3) Playground Equipment Hurts Adults
These seem harmless, right?
WRONG!
I can’t even count how many times, as a child, I did something dangerous at a playground. They’re pretty much a breeding ground for injuries, are they not? Here’s the kicker though – it seems like the kids are never the ones getting injured! I have been injured TWICE at the playground this summer and this is when I am taking Melina to play! I have learned that maybe adults just shouldn’t try to relive their youth through playground equipment but I’m sure I’ll continue doing so as she gets older.
Earlier this summer, I took Melina to one of the playgrounds in town and decided to try hang from the monkey bars. It’s been a very long time since I’ve been on playground equipment to play but I decided to try one of the tricks I used to do as a kid. The ‘trick’ was to hang from the monkey bars with your hands and then swing your legs through the opening between your arms, kind of doing a suspended sommersault. Well, Melina, having more foresight than me, predicted mom was going to hurt herself and told me to get off the equipment but I didn’t listen and started to do my trick. Halfway through my sommersalt, my shoulder twisted at a funny angle and, well, needless to say, we were done our jaunt at the park after that! My shoulders never twisted uncomfortably doing that as a kid.
Just the other day, TJ & I took Melina to the playground by our house. She’s still too short to get onto a lot of the ‘big kid’ equipment so I decided I’d show her how to walk up a slide to get to the top of the landing! I thought I was so cool, climbing up a slide just like I did so many times as a kid. I didn’t take into account how many feet I’ve grown since graduating from kiddie slides. As I was going up the slide at top speed, my face met abruptly with a horizontal steel pole at the top of the slides’ landing. My head snapped back and TJ told me he heard the crack of my nose hitting the pole from across the park. He looked at me like I was a complete dumbass for not realizing there was a pole on the landing but as I walked towards him with tears in my eyes, he realized I was actually hurt! I kind of chuckled at the stupidity of the whole situation while asking him if my nose is broken. It wasn’t - just bruised, red and tender for the next few days. I’ve learned that I probably shouldn’t try to pretend I’m a kid anymore and accept the fact that I’m an *gulp* adult now! Yikes. I’ll still try to teach her to do things at the playground but I’m going to keep my face forward from now on so I can face oncoming poles with style and grace!
(1) Peaches Hurt.
Everybody knows that peaches have fuzz on them. But, what I bet you weren’t aware of is that once the peach is rubbed on your face, those seemingly harmless little fuzzies become painful shards stuck in your pores. Seriously. For some reason one day I decided to feel what the peach fuzz would feel like when I rubbed it on my face. It was harmless enough. But, after rolling it around on my face a few times, I put the peach away and then rubbed my face. Sure enough, those “fuzzies” imbedded themselves into every pore and my face became a bed of sharp prickles. It was incredibly awkward and painful for a few days whenever I rubbed my face.
(2) Curling Irons Also Hurt.
Another smart move in my life occurred one day when I was curling my hair. Everyone knows that curling irons are hot. It’s a pretty obvious fact. But, what’s NOT hot on the curling iron that my Mom had was the little white tip at the end of the iron that you can hold onto while you’re curling your hair. I’ve touched it a thousand times with my hands and had never burned me. So, one day while curling my hair, I decided to be a dork and touch the tip of the curling iron (the part covered in plastic) onto my tongue to “see what would happen.” Sure enough, the white tip somehow became as hot as the iron itself and I burned my tongue. I felt special when someone asked me what I did to burn my tongue and I told them I licked a curling iron.
(3) Playground Equipment Hurts Adults
These seem harmless, right?
WRONG!
I can’t even count how many times, as a child, I did something dangerous at a playground. They’re pretty much a breeding ground for injuries, are they not? Here’s the kicker though – it seems like the kids are never the ones getting injured! I have been injured TWICE at the playground this summer and this is when I am taking Melina to play! I have learned that maybe adults just shouldn’t try to relive their youth through playground equipment but I’m sure I’ll continue doing so as she gets older.
Earlier this summer, I took Melina to one of the playgrounds in town and decided to try hang from the monkey bars. It’s been a very long time since I’ve been on playground equipment to play but I decided to try one of the tricks I used to do as a kid. The ‘trick’ was to hang from the monkey bars with your hands and then swing your legs through the opening between your arms, kind of doing a suspended sommersault. Well, Melina, having more foresight than me, predicted mom was going to hurt herself and told me to get off the equipment but I didn’t listen and started to do my trick. Halfway through my sommersalt, my shoulder twisted at a funny angle and, well, needless to say, we were done our jaunt at the park after that! My shoulders never twisted uncomfortably doing that as a kid.
Just the other day, TJ & I took Melina to the playground by our house. She’s still too short to get onto a lot of the ‘big kid’ equipment so I decided I’d show her how to walk up a slide to get to the top of the landing! I thought I was so cool, climbing up a slide just like I did so many times as a kid. I didn’t take into account how many feet I’ve grown since graduating from kiddie slides. As I was going up the slide at top speed, my face met abruptly with a horizontal steel pole at the top of the slides’ landing. My head snapped back and TJ told me he heard the crack of my nose hitting the pole from across the park. He looked at me like I was a complete dumbass for not realizing there was a pole on the landing but as I walked towards him with tears in my eyes, he realized I was actually hurt! I kind of chuckled at the stupidity of the whole situation while asking him if my nose is broken. It wasn’t - just bruised, red and tender for the next few days. I’ve learned that I probably shouldn’t try to pretend I’m a kid anymore and accept the fact that I’m an *gulp* adult now! Yikes. I’ll still try to teach her to do things at the playground but I’m going to keep my face forward from now on so I can face oncoming poles with style and grace!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Life is not merely being alive, but being well.
I am not one of those people with a ridiculously strong belief system. I chalk this up to my not knowing 110% who I am at this point in my life. Unlike a lot of people my age, I don’t prescribe to a particular political party or religion. I am kind of ‘wishy washy’ in that way, I suppose.
There is, however, one thing that I feel very strongly about and it wasn’t until I had a daughter that this particular belief took hold. What is this belief, you ask? Simply put, it’s instilling confidence and self-esteem in your children, especially young girls. I am disgusted when I see how many elementary school girls are obsessed with their weight.
I heard about a new book called “Maggie Goes on a Diet” which is set to be published in October (actually, on my daughter’s birthday). This book is aimed at children ages 6+ and is about the main character Maggie, going on a diet and losing weight.
Hearing about this book frustrated me beyond belief. Six-year-olds shouldn’t even know the word ‘diet,’ in my opinion. Upon reading the summary of the book, I learned that it’s about Maggie who uses diet and exercise to lose excess weight. Maybe this book would be accepted more openly if it had been marketed a different way. I won’t argue that it’s important for children to learn about healthy eating and physical activity but I don’t think it should be shoved down their throats with an illustrated book aimed at Grade 1 girls! Just take a look at the cover of the book:
Does this image remind anyone of eating disorder images that pop up all over the internet:
*shudders* I would never in a million years purchase a book like this for my daughter. She is going to learn about healthy eating through my cooking and will be physically active because I will be physically active with her and will encourage her to be physically active.
Another thing that frustrates me about the state of the younger generation’s self-esteem issue is that their negative self-image can be prevented through proper parenting techniques by simply paying attention to the things you do/say around your children. Going on a fad diet (i.e., cabbage soup diet) isn’t setting a good example for your children. You might think they’re too young to notice your eating habits but they aren’t. If you aren’t following a healthy lifestyle (that is, eating healthy foods and getting proper exercise), you aren’t setting the right example for your kids. How can you expect your children not to have self-esteem issues when you’re constantly trying different diets and bad-talking yourself and your weight?
Since my daughter has started talking, I’ve tried to eliminate a lot of the self-hate talk that I do oh-so-often! She might only be three but you can bet she understands what I’m saying if I make fun of my weight or say negative things like “I’m fat!” If she grows up in a household hearing things like that or watching me obsess over food, you can bet she will be doing the same thing when she’s old enough to understand what “fat” means. I don’t say these words around her and get really annoyed when people poke her belly and call her ‘chubby.’ Not a good thing to be saying to a child.
Here’s a scary statistic I pulled off the internet:
"Nine - age at which at least half of all girls report having been on a diet.
Eighty percent of eighth grade girls say they are on diets."
You can bet when I was in Grade 8, I was worried about my weight. And at 9, I was leaving notes for myself in candy dishes saying “Chantelle, don’t eat this!” In fact, I can remember back to one of the first times I was really concerned about my weight. It was Grade 3 and during an indoor recess someone called me a “cow.” I still haven’t forgotten that. I remember obsessively weighing myself throughout elementary school and even kindergarten. I was 55 lbs in Kindergarten (if I’m remembering correctly) and 88 lbs in Grade 4 or 5. Funny how these sorta things stick with someone.
I don’t want Melina to grow up with the terrible self-esteem I have. I am doing everything in my power to instil healthy habits in my daughter. She watches me eat and exercise and she already is emulating my healthy (and sometimes unhealthy) habits. They’re like sponges.
You can bet when I was in Grade 8, I was worried about my weight. In fact, I can remember back to one of the first times I was really concerned about my weight. It was Grade 3 and during an indoor recess someone called me a “cow.” I still haven’t forgotten that. I remember obsessively weighing myself throughout elementary school and even kindergarten. I was 55 lbs in Kindergarten (if I’m remembering correctly) and 88 lbs in Grade 4 or 5. Funny how these sorta things stick with someone.
I don’t want Melina to grow up with the terrible self-esteem I have. I am doing everything in my power to instill healthy habits in my daughter. She watches me exercise and eats healthy because I cook healthy. How can you expect your children to have a healthy lifestyle if all you cook them is chicken fingers and French fries? Melina’s favourite food is chicken breast (cooked any and all ways) because we cook chicken so often. I read a fact in a magazine today that by age 3 children have started to make up their minds about what foods they like and dislike! Scary, hey? I remember being a kid and eating tons of macaroni and cheese and hot dogs (foods I hate now, by the way). But we are trying to incorporate healthy, balanced meals in Melina’s life so that is how she will be accustomed to eating by the time she’s old enough to start remembering her childhood. We aren’t perfect. There are days we go out for ice cream and hit up a drive-thru, but like I said in a previous entry, we eat healthy 80% of the time and ‘naughty’ 20% of the time.
What’s something you feel strongly about?
There is, however, one thing that I feel very strongly about and it wasn’t until I had a daughter that this particular belief took hold. What is this belief, you ask? Simply put, it’s instilling confidence and self-esteem in your children, especially young girls. I am disgusted when I see how many elementary school girls are obsessed with their weight.
I heard about a new book called “Maggie Goes on a Diet” which is set to be published in October (actually, on my daughter’s birthday). This book is aimed at children ages 6+ and is about the main character Maggie, going on a diet and losing weight.
Hearing about this book frustrated me beyond belief. Six-year-olds shouldn’t even know the word ‘diet,’ in my opinion. Upon reading the summary of the book, I learned that it’s about Maggie who uses diet and exercise to lose excess weight. Maybe this book would be accepted more openly if it had been marketed a different way. I won’t argue that it’s important for children to learn about healthy eating and physical activity but I don’t think it should be shoved down their throats with an illustrated book aimed at Grade 1 girls! Just take a look at the cover of the book:
Does this image remind anyone of eating disorder images that pop up all over the internet:
*shudders* I would never in a million years purchase a book like this for my daughter. She is going to learn about healthy eating through my cooking and will be physically active because I will be physically active with her and will encourage her to be physically active.
Another thing that frustrates me about the state of the younger generation’s self-esteem issue is that their negative self-image can be prevented through proper parenting techniques by simply paying attention to the things you do/say around your children. Going on a fad diet (i.e., cabbage soup diet) isn’t setting a good example for your children. You might think they’re too young to notice your eating habits but they aren’t. If you aren’t following a healthy lifestyle (that is, eating healthy foods and getting proper exercise), you aren’t setting the right example for your kids. How can you expect your children not to have self-esteem issues when you’re constantly trying different diets and bad-talking yourself and your weight?
Since my daughter has started talking, I’ve tried to eliminate a lot of the self-hate talk that I do oh-so-often! She might only be three but you can bet she understands what I’m saying if I make fun of my weight or say negative things like “I’m fat!” If she grows up in a household hearing things like that or watching me obsess over food, you can bet she will be doing the same thing when she’s old enough to understand what “fat” means. I don’t say these words around her and get really annoyed when people poke her belly and call her ‘chubby.’ Not a good thing to be saying to a child.
Here’s a scary statistic I pulled off the internet:
"Nine - age at which at least half of all girls report having been on a diet.
Eighty percent of eighth grade girls say they are on diets."
You can bet when I was in Grade 8, I was worried about my weight. And at 9, I was leaving notes for myself in candy dishes saying “Chantelle, don’t eat this!” In fact, I can remember back to one of the first times I was really concerned about my weight. It was Grade 3 and during an indoor recess someone called me a “cow.” I still haven’t forgotten that. I remember obsessively weighing myself throughout elementary school and even kindergarten. I was 55 lbs in Kindergarten (if I’m remembering correctly) and 88 lbs in Grade 4 or 5. Funny how these sorta things stick with someone.
I don’t want Melina to grow up with the terrible self-esteem I have. I am doing everything in my power to instil healthy habits in my daughter. She watches me eat and exercise and she already is emulating my healthy (and sometimes unhealthy) habits. They’re like sponges.
You can bet when I was in Grade 8, I was worried about my weight. In fact, I can remember back to one of the first times I was really concerned about my weight. It was Grade 3 and during an indoor recess someone called me a “cow.” I still haven’t forgotten that. I remember obsessively weighing myself throughout elementary school and even kindergarten. I was 55 lbs in Kindergarten (if I’m remembering correctly) and 88 lbs in Grade 4 or 5. Funny how these sorta things stick with someone.
I don’t want Melina to grow up with the terrible self-esteem I have. I am doing everything in my power to instill healthy habits in my daughter. She watches me exercise and eats healthy because I cook healthy. How can you expect your children to have a healthy lifestyle if all you cook them is chicken fingers and French fries? Melina’s favourite food is chicken breast (cooked any and all ways) because we cook chicken so often. I read a fact in a magazine today that by age 3 children have started to make up their minds about what foods they like and dislike! Scary, hey? I remember being a kid and eating tons of macaroni and cheese and hot dogs (foods I hate now, by the way). But we are trying to incorporate healthy, balanced meals in Melina’s life so that is how she will be accustomed to eating by the time she’s old enough to start remembering her childhood. We aren’t perfect. There are days we go out for ice cream and hit up a drive-thru, but like I said in a previous entry, we eat healthy 80% of the time and ‘naughty’ 20% of the time.
What’s something you feel strongly about?
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
We do not remember days; we remember moments.
Side note: This entry is ALL over the place. But I feel in the spirit of reminiscing, I am going to leave it unedited.
It is weird for me to go to the town I was born in. I only lived there for the first four years of my life but most of my favourite childhood memories are from time spent visiting in that little town of 2,100 people.
My grandparents, many of my aunts and uncles on my mom’s side of the family and most of my cousins lived in ‘Hazy’ (as I’ll call it) and, as I child, we went to visit there quite often. The cousins always had so much fun raising hell in our grandparent’s basement, where our parents often dropped us off to do what we wished while the adults socialized upstairs.
It’s hard for me to believe that the days of hanging out with my cousins in that basement are long gone even though it’s been years since I have been in the basement with my cousins. Whenever I go to my Grandma’s now, I am reminded of all of the amazing times I had in Hazy during every summer of my childhood, every family get together, every Christmas.
Things are different at my Grandma’s now and it makes me sad to be there. Don’t get me wrong, I love visiting my Grandma and other relatives in Hazy but it breaks my heart being at her house. The obvious reason is that my Grandpa is no longer there anymore. It’s interesting though, because even though he’s not there I can still feel him in the house. I can still picture his spot at the kitchen table and his spot on the couch that’s no longer there.
While he was in the hospital last summer, there were little things lying around the house that showed Grandpa had been there recently – namely, his harmonica and his Toronto Maple Leaf slippers. I remember when we were visiting him while he was in the hospital, Melina was walking around the house with his slippers on and I had to make her take them off. Just out of respect, I guess.
I always enter my Grandma’s house with a heavy heart now, knowing Grandpa isn’t there to make silly jokes and whistle all day. I remember once when I was much younger, Grandpa made a joke about “hor'deurves”, calling them “horse overs.” Haha. I miss his stories at the supper table and his yummy garden veggies.
I know he’s still around and can feel his presence at the house sometimes. It’s hard to accept, though, that things will never be the same again. Hazy is a different little town now without my Grandpa as a physical part of it. Every time I have visited my Grandma in this past year, more and more changes are being made to her house. They’re good changes, like making small updates to the house. But it feels weird seeing things change in a house that went without change for so many years. I still miss the dark brown carpet in their upstairs living room that they had for so many years. It was thick carpet and attracted cat hair like crazy so it was a pain in the butt to keep clean but, dammit, that rug was a huge help in making epic, huge card castles!
I really don’t know where I was heading with this blog entry. I wanted to make note of the things that I miss about my hometown but it just goes hand-in-hand with my Grandpa’s passing.
I want Melina to be able to make memories at my Grandma’s house, the way that I made memories there growing up. Every time we go to visit, we pass a building or a landmark in the town that reminds me of something I experienced as a child – my first time tasting wine at a cousins wedding in the hall by my Grandma’s house (which led to my first alcohol-induced headache), hanging out at the local bank because it was the ‘cool’ place to be (or so I thought at the time), going to classes at the library during the summer, taking library books home without signing them out because my sister told me that there was a specific rack of books you could just take for free ( I still don’t know if there’s any truth to this), hanging out at the vintage-feeling ice cream shop my relatives owned, going into the bar underage to do a shot at the town’s centennial celebration (you’re not reading this, are you, Mom?) and the list goes on.
But the memories made around the city are nothing compared to the memories made with my family at my grandparents house – hanging out in the basement with Candace and having a ‘who can hold their arm up in the air the longest’ contest because we saw it on an episode of Survivor (I think we held it up for over an hour), looking through the scary storage area under the basement stairs and scaring each other down there because it was legit scary sometimes, traumatizing my slightly younger cousins with stories of Michael Smith (sorry Delaney) and other scary stories (sorry Brandi), throwing rocks at cars that pass by (okay, that was once and I was really young and a man got out of his car and yelled at us and that never happened again), being summer friends with the kids who lived next door, playing in the ball diamonds behind Grandma’s house, watching ball at the ball diamonds, having the whole family manage a huge sleepover in my grandparents house during every family get together (especially Christmas! That house is packed!), going to the outdoor swimming pool by the house, cabbage rolls and cucumber salad and other yummies that only Grandma’s can make, getting ran over by a boy on a bicycle in the driveway of my grandparents house (I swear this happened but no one has confirmed or denied it for me. It may have been a dream. But I distinctly remember my white blouse having tire marks across it haha), visiting with the family on the patio, listening to Grandpa fill the house with his harmonica playing, watching The Price is Right with Grandpa and the hockey games with Grandma (who cheers louder than anyone I’ve ever heard), Grandpa always saying “yeah, whatever”, going out to the farm with Grandpa to see what life was like there and learn a little bit about farming (none of which, I retained) and the list goes on and on and on...
I think a part of me doesn’t want to believe that I’m an ‘adult’ now with a husband and a family because I don’t want to let go of that part of my life. I know it’s part of my past now but I am going to do everything in my power to make sure I don’t forget how many great times I had in Hazy even though things have changed forever now.
Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.
It is weird for me to go to the town I was born in. I only lived there for the first four years of my life but most of my favourite childhood memories are from time spent visiting in that little town of 2,100 people.
My grandparents, many of my aunts and uncles on my mom’s side of the family and most of my cousins lived in ‘Hazy’ (as I’ll call it) and, as I child, we went to visit there quite often. The cousins always had so much fun raising hell in our grandparent’s basement, where our parents often dropped us off to do what we wished while the adults socialized upstairs.
It’s hard for me to believe that the days of hanging out with my cousins in that basement are long gone even though it’s been years since I have been in the basement with my cousins. Whenever I go to my Grandma’s now, I am reminded of all of the amazing times I had in Hazy during every summer of my childhood, every family get together, every Christmas.
Things are different at my Grandma’s now and it makes me sad to be there. Don’t get me wrong, I love visiting my Grandma and other relatives in Hazy but it breaks my heart being at her house. The obvious reason is that my Grandpa is no longer there anymore. It’s interesting though, because even though he’s not there I can still feel him in the house. I can still picture his spot at the kitchen table and his spot on the couch that’s no longer there.
While he was in the hospital last summer, there were little things lying around the house that showed Grandpa had been there recently – namely, his harmonica and his Toronto Maple Leaf slippers. I remember when we were visiting him while he was in the hospital, Melina was walking around the house with his slippers on and I had to make her take them off. Just out of respect, I guess.
I always enter my Grandma’s house with a heavy heart now, knowing Grandpa isn’t there to make silly jokes and whistle all day. I remember once when I was much younger, Grandpa made a joke about “hor'deurves”, calling them “horse overs.” Haha. I miss his stories at the supper table and his yummy garden veggies.
I know he’s still around and can feel his presence at the house sometimes. It’s hard to accept, though, that things will never be the same again. Hazy is a different little town now without my Grandpa as a physical part of it. Every time I have visited my Grandma in this past year, more and more changes are being made to her house. They’re good changes, like making small updates to the house. But it feels weird seeing things change in a house that went without change for so many years. I still miss the dark brown carpet in their upstairs living room that they had for so many years. It was thick carpet and attracted cat hair like crazy so it was a pain in the butt to keep clean but, dammit, that rug was a huge help in making epic, huge card castles!
I really don’t know where I was heading with this blog entry. I wanted to make note of the things that I miss about my hometown but it just goes hand-in-hand with my Grandpa’s passing.
I want Melina to be able to make memories at my Grandma’s house, the way that I made memories there growing up. Every time we go to visit, we pass a building or a landmark in the town that reminds me of something I experienced as a child – my first time tasting wine at a cousins wedding in the hall by my Grandma’s house (which led to my first alcohol-induced headache), hanging out at the local bank because it was the ‘cool’ place to be (or so I thought at the time), going to classes at the library during the summer, taking library books home without signing them out because my sister told me that there was a specific rack of books you could just take for free ( I still don’t know if there’s any truth to this), hanging out at the vintage-feeling ice cream shop my relatives owned, going into the bar underage to do a shot at the town’s centennial celebration (you’re not reading this, are you, Mom?) and the list goes on.
But the memories made around the city are nothing compared to the memories made with my family at my grandparents house – hanging out in the basement with Candace and having a ‘who can hold their arm up in the air the longest’ contest because we saw it on an episode of Survivor (I think we held it up for over an hour), looking through the scary storage area under the basement stairs and scaring each other down there because it was legit scary sometimes, traumatizing my slightly younger cousins with stories of Michael Smith (sorry Delaney) and other scary stories (sorry Brandi), throwing rocks at cars that pass by (okay, that was once and I was really young and a man got out of his car and yelled at us and that never happened again), being summer friends with the kids who lived next door, playing in the ball diamonds behind Grandma’s house, watching ball at the ball diamonds, having the whole family manage a huge sleepover in my grandparents house during every family get together (especially Christmas! That house is packed!), going to the outdoor swimming pool by the house, cabbage rolls and cucumber salad and other yummies that only Grandma’s can make, getting ran over by a boy on a bicycle in the driveway of my grandparents house (I swear this happened but no one has confirmed or denied it for me. It may have been a dream. But I distinctly remember my white blouse having tire marks across it haha), visiting with the family on the patio, listening to Grandpa fill the house with his harmonica playing, watching The Price is Right with Grandpa and the hockey games with Grandma (who cheers louder than anyone I’ve ever heard), Grandpa always saying “yeah, whatever”, going out to the farm with Grandpa to see what life was like there and learn a little bit about farming (none of which, I retained) and the list goes on and on and on...
I think a part of me doesn’t want to believe that I’m an ‘adult’ now with a husband and a family because I don’t want to let go of that part of my life. I know it’s part of my past now but I am going to do everything in my power to make sure I don’t forget how many great times I had in Hazy even though things have changed forever now.
Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
In order to succeed, you must first be willing to fail
The human memory is a pretty amazing thing. The other evening TJ & I were cleaning our bedroom and had music from ITunes playing as background noise. It blew my mind how many old songs we still had on our ITunes, songs I’ve completely forgotten about over the years. But what amazes me even more is the memories that these songs bring back. Memories, I’d also completely forgotten about.
It’s funny how any of these particular songs shoot me back to a moment in my life and it’s like I am there again, living life as I did back when I loved these songs and feeling all of the feelings (the good, the bad, the ugly) that accompanied listening to them at that time.
I googled this phenomenon and found a website that referred to it as “involuntary auditory memories” which I think is an accurate description. They defined it as “the act of deliberately forming strong associations between certain pieces of music and a particular place,” also, very accurate. There’s also involuntary olfactory memories, which deal with certain scents bringing back memories but that’s a whole different blog entry for another time.
Some of the memories that these songs trigger are great ones. For example, “The Adventure” by Angels & Airwaves reminds me of when TJ & I first started dating. One of the first nights we slept together (as in, slept in the same bed together, you perverts) I had the Angels & Airwaves CD playing on repeat all night. I woke up first that morning and just listened to the music as TJ lay next to me. I remember being blown away that this guy I’ve spent so many years knowing as only a username on a computer was lying in bed next to me. It was surreal. It was perfection. That whole CD still makes me smile and think of our love blossoming. Corny, but true.
“Love Story” by Taylor Swift is another song that stirs up a happy memory for me. I used to sing the song to Melina right after she was born. I’d search it on Youtube and sing it to her over and over while I rocked her to sleep. It was my favourite song at the time and I can’t listen to it anymore without being reminded of holding a newborn Melina in my arms.
I’ve come to realize that I know literally every country song that comes on the Sirius country station TJ listens to all of the time. And I’m not even a country fan. The only reason I know these songs is because they’re all old ones, from my childhood, and I am reminded of going for drives with my Mom, going to garage sales and singing these songs at the top of my lungs. I think it’s weird that I still remember every word to these songs, fifteen years later.
Of course, there are some songs that bring back negative emotions. “Broken Wings” by Bleed The Dream reminds me of my angsty, emotional time in high school, feelings of guilt, self-loathing, etc. I try not to listen to this song anymore because it reminds me of times that I’d rather not relive.
What songs take you back to a happy point in your life?
It’s funny how any of these particular songs shoot me back to a moment in my life and it’s like I am there again, living life as I did back when I loved these songs and feeling all of the feelings (the good, the bad, the ugly) that accompanied listening to them at that time.
I googled this phenomenon and found a website that referred to it as “involuntary auditory memories” which I think is an accurate description. They defined it as “the act of deliberately forming strong associations between certain pieces of music and a particular place,” also, very accurate. There’s also involuntary olfactory memories, which deal with certain scents bringing back memories but that’s a whole different blog entry for another time.
Some of the memories that these songs trigger are great ones. For example, “The Adventure” by Angels & Airwaves reminds me of when TJ & I first started dating. One of the first nights we slept together (as in, slept in the same bed together, you perverts) I had the Angels & Airwaves CD playing on repeat all night. I woke up first that morning and just listened to the music as TJ lay next to me. I remember being blown away that this guy I’ve spent so many years knowing as only a username on a computer was lying in bed next to me. It was surreal. It was perfection. That whole CD still makes me smile and think of our love blossoming. Corny, but true.
“Love Story” by Taylor Swift is another song that stirs up a happy memory for me. I used to sing the song to Melina right after she was born. I’d search it on Youtube and sing it to her over and over while I rocked her to sleep. It was my favourite song at the time and I can’t listen to it anymore without being reminded of holding a newborn Melina in my arms.
I’ve come to realize that I know literally every country song that comes on the Sirius country station TJ listens to all of the time. And I’m not even a country fan. The only reason I know these songs is because they’re all old ones, from my childhood, and I am reminded of going for drives with my Mom, going to garage sales and singing these songs at the top of my lungs. I think it’s weird that I still remember every word to these songs, fifteen years later.
Of course, there are some songs that bring back negative emotions. “Broken Wings” by Bleed The Dream reminds me of my angsty, emotional time in high school, feelings of guilt, self-loathing, etc. I try not to listen to this song anymore because it reminds me of times that I’d rather not relive.
What songs take you back to a happy point in your life?
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Success doesn't come to you, you go to it.
I recently found a blog post of questions titled “50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind". The questions are extremely thought provoking and I am going to dedicate today’s blog to answering one of the questions.
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
The one thing that I’ve done that I really would like to do is get a degree or a certificate of some sort. I did attend university briefly after high school so I do have a few credit hours under my belt and I did get to experience a bit of the “university life.” The reason I have not returned to school is simple – I have changed my mind 1000 times on what I want to do with my life.
When I first attended university, my major was Justice Studies because I was completely enthralled with the criminal mind. Not just any criminal’s mind, however. Mostly just psychopaths and murderers. Morbid, yes? But then I started thinking that maybe psychology was more what I was into so then I started thinking I’d like to have a minor in psychology. I actually think that I have more psychology classes under my belt than I do classes that are really relevant to justice studies haha. I was just really interested in what makes the criminal mind tick. I still am interested in that but I don’t think I could work in that field.
Last fall I got a job at the local newspaper. Writing has always been a passion of mine so I thought this job would open all sorts of doors for me. While it did fuel my writing passion momentarily, I grew tired of that job in rather quickly. It was exciting to have a job writing but the type of writing I was required to do was not something that could hold my interest for very long. While working at the paper, however, I decided I wanted to try university again. So I got re-admitted to the University of Regina in pre-journalism. But, after realizing how hard it would be to juggle working full time, all day, some evenings and taking care of a toddler at the same time, I quickly backed out.
Now, I have a new venture in mind that I am hesitant to even share on here. It’s something that I am recently very passionate about but I am worried about my quiet personality being a hindrance. I know it’s stupid but I am scared of telling everyone that I am going to further my education and then back out, again. I am afraid of failing but, more than that, I’m afraid of looking like a failure. I almost feel like if I do decide to go down this road, I won’t be telling very many people about it. That way, if I fail, I won’t feel embarrassed as well as feeling like a failure. I know that I need to get over this fear because it’s going to rub off on Melina and I definitely don’t want my shortcomings to become hers by my hand. But we’ll see what doors open, if any, in the near future and I’ll be keeping you all updated of course. ;)
What’s holding YOU back from doing something you really want?
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
The one thing that I’ve done that I really would like to do is get a degree or a certificate of some sort. I did attend university briefly after high school so I do have a few credit hours under my belt and I did get to experience a bit of the “university life.” The reason I have not returned to school is simple – I have changed my mind 1000 times on what I want to do with my life.
When I first attended university, my major was Justice Studies because I was completely enthralled with the criminal mind. Not just any criminal’s mind, however. Mostly just psychopaths and murderers. Morbid, yes? But then I started thinking that maybe psychology was more what I was into so then I started thinking I’d like to have a minor in psychology. I actually think that I have more psychology classes under my belt than I do classes that are really relevant to justice studies haha. I was just really interested in what makes the criminal mind tick. I still am interested in that but I don’t think I could work in that field.
Last fall I got a job at the local newspaper. Writing has always been a passion of mine so I thought this job would open all sorts of doors for me. While it did fuel my writing passion momentarily, I grew tired of that job in rather quickly. It was exciting to have a job writing but the type of writing I was required to do was not something that could hold my interest for very long. While working at the paper, however, I decided I wanted to try university again. So I got re-admitted to the University of Regina in pre-journalism. But, after realizing how hard it would be to juggle working full time, all day, some evenings and taking care of a toddler at the same time, I quickly backed out.
Now, I have a new venture in mind that I am hesitant to even share on here. It’s something that I am recently very passionate about but I am worried about my quiet personality being a hindrance. I know it’s stupid but I am scared of telling everyone that I am going to further my education and then back out, again. I am afraid of failing but, more than that, I’m afraid of looking like a failure. I almost feel like if I do decide to go down this road, I won’t be telling very many people about it. That way, if I fail, I won’t feel embarrassed as well as feeling like a failure. I know that I need to get over this fear because it’s going to rub off on Melina and I definitely don’t want my shortcomings to become hers by my hand. But we’ll see what doors open, if any, in the near future and I’ll be keeping you all updated of course. ;)
What’s holding YOU back from doing something you really want?
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
It is never too late to be what you might have been.
Clean eating is a new concept for me. For the past three years, I have known ABOUT clean eating but never attempted to eat clean because (a) it isn’t always the most convenient option when you’re a rather new mother (AKA it’s so much easier to make some instant mashed potatoes and pop some chicken fingers in the oven than it is to make a meal from scratch) and (b) it seemed hard/impossible!
What is eating clean, exactly? According to the Eat Clean Diet website:
“It is eating the way nature intended. You eat the foods our bodies evolved to function best on, and that makes you feel – and look – fantastic. When you Eat Clean you eat more often. You will eat lean protein, complex carbs, and healthy fats. These practices keep your blood-sugar levels stable and keep you satisfied. The best part is that if you need to lose weight it will happen almost without you having to try. And yes, you can have a treat now and again.
Best of all, Eating Clean keeps you feeling great and full of energy. In fact, you can forget all about the days when “dieting” meant feelings of hunger, lethargy or deprivation.
Eating Clean is not a fad; it’s a way of life.”
TJ and I have been eating clean for two weeks now and I have come to a few conclusions.
1. It is FUN to find new and healthy recipes to try out! I have a whole binder full of “Chantelle’s Clean Recipes” now and I look forward to adding more recipes to it as time goes by! I do have one of the Eat Clean Diet cookbooks but I’ve found that a lot of the recipes in there are kind of intimidating due to amount of ingredients needed for the recipes and the types of ingredients. I will say this though, Old Fashion Foods is an amazing place to start looking for those obscure ingredients you’ve never heard of!
2. In these two weeks, I have not felt guilty after a meal. This is a huge accomplishment for me. There used to never be a day that went by where I didn’t feel some degree of guilt after a meal. But since we started eating clean, I have felt nothing but happy after meal time. I no longer feel bad about feeding my body crappy foods.
3. Before we started eating clean, we ate healthy most of the time. But there were some days where I’d use a box of stuffing or Uncle Ben’s 90 second microwave rice to round out supper which isn’t obviously the best choice but it was convenient. Now, I don’t even have the urge to use these convenience foods because natural food is just that much better!
I will admit though that there are times it is hard to feed TJ and myself as well as Melina while eating clean. She’s 2.5 years old – she doesn’t eat salad. But we make do. I have to make a little extra food sometimes but it’s worked for us.
I will be honest here though. We have had a ‘free day’ since the beginning of our eating clean adventure. Instead of derailing our progress like free days usually do, it’s kept us on track. We went to Regina over the weekend and treated ourselves to a supper out and a movie (which, of course, we *needed* to buy popcorn to feed TJs popcorn demons ;) ). And, again, instead of feeling guilty about treating ourselves, we didn’t because every other meal of the week we ate clean! I read in another blog somewhere the other day where the author admitted to eating “80% clean, 20% dirty” and I think that’s something completely doable within our family for the time being.
Im not trying to come off as an eating clean expert because I’m really not. At all. But it’s just so much fun to be doing a good thing for my body that I am excited to hopefully become better at this eating clean business one day! I have had a few friends inquire about clean eating since I started posting about it on Facebook and I love knowing that the healthy choices my family makes may make a difference in the way another family chooses to fuel themselves.
Today, I made chocolate chunk almond butter cookies. They. Are. Amazing. I may never go back to regular cookies, ever again. The best part? They’re made of clean ingredients! It’s definitely a treat though. There’s no way I can keep a constant stash of these bad boys in my house because, let’s be honest, I’ve had more than my fair share today. But it’s great to know I can satisfy my chocolate craving with something that is concerned clean, even if the cookies should be viewed as a treat!
Want the recipe? Check out this website. http://www.cleaneatingmag.com/Recipes/Recipe/Almond-Butter-Chocolate-Chip-Cookies.aspx This website/magazine is an excellent source for people wanting to check out some amazing clean eating recipes.
What is eating clean, exactly? According to the Eat Clean Diet website:
“It is eating the way nature intended. You eat the foods our bodies evolved to function best on, and that makes you feel – and look – fantastic. When you Eat Clean you eat more often. You will eat lean protein, complex carbs, and healthy fats. These practices keep your blood-sugar levels stable and keep you satisfied. The best part is that if you need to lose weight it will happen almost without you having to try. And yes, you can have a treat now and again.
Best of all, Eating Clean keeps you feeling great and full of energy. In fact, you can forget all about the days when “dieting” meant feelings of hunger, lethargy or deprivation.
Eating Clean is not a fad; it’s a way of life.”
TJ and I have been eating clean for two weeks now and I have come to a few conclusions.
1. It is FUN to find new and healthy recipes to try out! I have a whole binder full of “Chantelle’s Clean Recipes” now and I look forward to adding more recipes to it as time goes by! I do have one of the Eat Clean Diet cookbooks but I’ve found that a lot of the recipes in there are kind of intimidating due to amount of ingredients needed for the recipes and the types of ingredients. I will say this though, Old Fashion Foods is an amazing place to start looking for those obscure ingredients you’ve never heard of!
2. In these two weeks, I have not felt guilty after a meal. This is a huge accomplishment for me. There used to never be a day that went by where I didn’t feel some degree of guilt after a meal. But since we started eating clean, I have felt nothing but happy after meal time. I no longer feel bad about feeding my body crappy foods.
3. Before we started eating clean, we ate healthy most of the time. But there were some days where I’d use a box of stuffing or Uncle Ben’s 90 second microwave rice to round out supper which isn’t obviously the best choice but it was convenient. Now, I don’t even have the urge to use these convenience foods because natural food is just that much better!
I will admit though that there are times it is hard to feed TJ and myself as well as Melina while eating clean. She’s 2.5 years old – she doesn’t eat salad. But we make do. I have to make a little extra food sometimes but it’s worked for us.
I will be honest here though. We have had a ‘free day’ since the beginning of our eating clean adventure. Instead of derailing our progress like free days usually do, it’s kept us on track. We went to Regina over the weekend and treated ourselves to a supper out and a movie (which, of course, we *needed* to buy popcorn to feed TJs popcorn demons ;) ). And, again, instead of feeling guilty about treating ourselves, we didn’t because every other meal of the week we ate clean! I read in another blog somewhere the other day where the author admitted to eating “80% clean, 20% dirty” and I think that’s something completely doable within our family for the time being.
Im not trying to come off as an eating clean expert because I’m really not. At all. But it’s just so much fun to be doing a good thing for my body that I am excited to hopefully become better at this eating clean business one day! I have had a few friends inquire about clean eating since I started posting about it on Facebook and I love knowing that the healthy choices my family makes may make a difference in the way another family chooses to fuel themselves.
Today, I made chocolate chunk almond butter cookies. They. Are. Amazing. I may never go back to regular cookies, ever again. The best part? They’re made of clean ingredients! It’s definitely a treat though. There’s no way I can keep a constant stash of these bad boys in my house because, let’s be honest, I’ve had more than my fair share today. But it’s great to know I can satisfy my chocolate craving with something that is concerned clean, even if the cookies should be viewed as a treat!
Want the recipe? Check out this website. http://www.cleaneatingmag.com/Recipes/Recipe/Almond-Butter-Chocolate-Chip-Cookies.aspx This website/magazine is an excellent source for people wanting to check out some amazing clean eating recipes.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
The future depends on what we do in the present
I have always had a bit of a temper, which surprises a lot of people I think. I come off as shy and quiet around people I don’t really know or am uncomfortable around but the truth is, when I am with my friends or family, I am a completely different person. I’m silly, dorky and I’ve come to realize, lately especially, that I sing a LOT (this is why Melina sing songs her way through half of the day most days). I am not a good singer but I constantly have a song stuck in my head, whether it’s the theme song to Caillou or Blue’s Clues or the Oompa Loompa song, which randomly came to me last week and has been rearing its ugly head daily, much to TJ’s dismay. Although I am happy-go-lucky most of the time, I do have a temperamental side that shows up once in a while, not often, but enough to make it a suitable blog topic, apparently.
A super quick synopsis for those of you who don’t know, TJ was in a car accident in Oct. 2009 that left him paralyzed from the chest down. A lot of my anger stems from my husband’s car accident. But first of all, let me make this clear, I don’t want to make this a therapy blog and I really do NOT want people feeling sorry for us. The reason I started this blog (“Me, Inspired”) was to get in touch with the inner Chantelle and blog about things that have happened or are happening to me as a way of keeping me inspired to live my life the way I want to live it. I am so iffy about blogging about TJ’s car accident not because it’s a sore subject, because it’s really not, but because I don’t want the accident to defy who we are as a couple, or, even as individuals. I have found that when I think about our relationship, I think about it in two ways – “before the accident” and “after the accident” and I hate that I do that. Yes, things are different because of the accident but we are still the same people on the inside. He still acts like an overexcited eight-year-old on Christmas and I’m right there beside him acting the same way. We are still the same people.
The anger I feel is not directed at TJ in any way, shape or form. I am angry at the situation. I am angry that we had to go through this. Yes, the accident made us stronger people and proved to me that our bond is like no other, but dammit, it makes me angry. And I’m allowed to be angry. It has taken me almost two years to realize it but I am allowed to feel this anger. Life shit on us, to put it eloquently. It did. But it could have been so much worse. TJ could’ve lost his life. It came so close to that.
When I get angry I ask myself, “why him?” Why did it have to be TJ to get into the accident? I can’t even count how many times I wish it had been me. I would’ve, no doubt, taken the paralysis news much differently than TJ did but I still wish it had been me in the truck instead of him.
Other times I am angry because I’m holding onto the memory of him leaving for work the night of his accident. I can remember it so well and I’m afraid it’ll be etched into my memory forever. TJ & I were hugging as he was about to leave for work and Melina, who had just turned one a week earlier, toddled up to us and wanted us to pick her up. So we had a three-way family hug and then Melina and I walked TJ to the door and watched him run to his truck, start it up and drive out of the driveway. When I think back to that night, I feel like a part of me knew something was going to happen. We never watched him drive away like that before. But I am always going to remember that moment. And other little moments from earlier that day as well, we had grilled cheese sandwiches and sweet potato fries for lunch. It really is like October 24, 2009 was the end of one part of my life. I remember every little detail and it still haunts me. I had a bath and had just hopped into bed to go to sleep when I got the phone call from “TJ” (the RCMP using TJ’s phone). I know it’s no fault of my own but I still get a little mad at myself when I think that I was lounging in the bath tub with a book as TJ was fighting for his life.
TJ and I have learned to make light of the situation. Hours after his diagnosis, TJ was making jokes about not being able to swing dance with me at our wedding. We had planned to surprise our guests with an awesome choreographed swing dance and had just begun practicing swing dancing when TJ had his accident. So that idea went out the window after the accident. But, you know what? Half way through our wedding reception, we stepped out onto the dance floor and did a little swing dance which we had practiced at home, with TJ in his chair, the week leading up to the wedding. It was perfect.
Melina has learned it’s pretty cool to have a dad in a wheelchair as she’s always hopping on his lap and driving around (or, at times, hijacking his car and taking it for a spin). In fact, when TJ was still in rehabilitation, Melina used to push him around in his chair all of the time, making her a very popular little girl in the ward TJ was staying in.
I guess, in a way, October 24, 2009 was the end of one chapter in my life. The 25th of October began a new, very different chapter but a new chapter, nonetheless. The 24th wasn’t the end of mine and TJ’s lives, and we don’t ever look at it that way. Yes, the way we live our day-to-day lives are very different now than ‘before’ the accident. But at least I am still able to look him in the eye and kiss him and know that with him everything will be okay.
A super quick synopsis for those of you who don’t know, TJ was in a car accident in Oct. 2009 that left him paralyzed from the chest down. A lot of my anger stems from my husband’s car accident. But first of all, let me make this clear, I don’t want to make this a therapy blog and I really do NOT want people feeling sorry for us. The reason I started this blog (“Me, Inspired”) was to get in touch with the inner Chantelle and blog about things that have happened or are happening to me as a way of keeping me inspired to live my life the way I want to live it. I am so iffy about blogging about TJ’s car accident not because it’s a sore subject, because it’s really not, but because I don’t want the accident to defy who we are as a couple, or, even as individuals. I have found that when I think about our relationship, I think about it in two ways – “before the accident” and “after the accident” and I hate that I do that. Yes, things are different because of the accident but we are still the same people on the inside. He still acts like an overexcited eight-year-old on Christmas and I’m right there beside him acting the same way. We are still the same people.
The anger I feel is not directed at TJ in any way, shape or form. I am angry at the situation. I am angry that we had to go through this. Yes, the accident made us stronger people and proved to me that our bond is like no other, but dammit, it makes me angry. And I’m allowed to be angry. It has taken me almost two years to realize it but I am allowed to feel this anger. Life shit on us, to put it eloquently. It did. But it could have been so much worse. TJ could’ve lost his life. It came so close to that.
When I get angry I ask myself, “why him?” Why did it have to be TJ to get into the accident? I can’t even count how many times I wish it had been me. I would’ve, no doubt, taken the paralysis news much differently than TJ did but I still wish it had been me in the truck instead of him.
Other times I am angry because I’m holding onto the memory of him leaving for work the night of his accident. I can remember it so well and I’m afraid it’ll be etched into my memory forever. TJ & I were hugging as he was about to leave for work and Melina, who had just turned one a week earlier, toddled up to us and wanted us to pick her up. So we had a three-way family hug and then Melina and I walked TJ to the door and watched him run to his truck, start it up and drive out of the driveway. When I think back to that night, I feel like a part of me knew something was going to happen. We never watched him drive away like that before. But I am always going to remember that moment. And other little moments from earlier that day as well, we had grilled cheese sandwiches and sweet potato fries for lunch. It really is like October 24, 2009 was the end of one part of my life. I remember every little detail and it still haunts me. I had a bath and had just hopped into bed to go to sleep when I got the phone call from “TJ” (the RCMP using TJ’s phone). I know it’s no fault of my own but I still get a little mad at myself when I think that I was lounging in the bath tub with a book as TJ was fighting for his life.
TJ and I have learned to make light of the situation. Hours after his diagnosis, TJ was making jokes about not being able to swing dance with me at our wedding. We had planned to surprise our guests with an awesome choreographed swing dance and had just begun practicing swing dancing when TJ had his accident. So that idea went out the window after the accident. But, you know what? Half way through our wedding reception, we stepped out onto the dance floor and did a little swing dance which we had practiced at home, with TJ in his chair, the week leading up to the wedding. It was perfect.
Melina has learned it’s pretty cool to have a dad in a wheelchair as she’s always hopping on his lap and driving around (or, at times, hijacking his car and taking it for a spin). In fact, when TJ was still in rehabilitation, Melina used to push him around in his chair all of the time, making her a very popular little girl in the ward TJ was staying in.
I guess, in a way, October 24, 2009 was the end of one chapter in my life. The 25th of October began a new, very different chapter but a new chapter, nonetheless. The 24th wasn’t the end of mine and TJ’s lives, and we don’t ever look at it that way. Yes, the way we live our day-to-day lives are very different now than ‘before’ the accident. But at least I am still able to look him in the eye and kiss him and know that with him everything will be okay.
Monday, July 11, 2011
The power of imagination makes us infinite
Our family had a garage sale the past few days and I found myself with a few hours of fairly quiet Mommy-time while I manned the sale. It was really nice as it’s rare that I get even a few minutes of uninterrupted Mommy-time anytime our daughter is awake. Which is fine, don’t get me wrong! It’s all part of being a Mama! But this alone time over the past few days was beneficial to me because I had an opportunity to be alone with my thoughts, which is something that used to be a bit dangerous but I really embraced it this time around.
I got to thinking about what I want out of life. Many people I know have goals they want to achieve during their lifetime and have even worked on a five or ten year plan. Sitting here and writing this now I realize that I’ve never really thought that far ahead before. Sure, in high school I had a makeshift “bucket list” with specific things I wanted to do before I died, but so many of the things on there don’t even really apply to my life these days that I pretty much scrapped it (though, to be honest, I mostly just lost the list). Things that were important to me then like “become a waitress” and “be someone’s escort to grad” (seriously, those were two of the things on my list) aren’t important to me at all now. Maybe one day I will create another bucket list. Lord knows I love lists! But, for now, I am concentrating on the things that I want out of life. While I’m on my death bed, I want to be able to look back on how I lived and say “yea, I did it. I got the most out of my life!”
So, what is it that I want most out of my life?
- Lots of laughter
- Happiness
- Self-acceptance
- Adventure & challenge
- To be a loving mother with an amazing relationship with my child(ren?)
- Find a career I love
- Learn to love myself
Some of these things on the list like laughter and happiness are already in my life. But I put them on the list because I want to remind myself throughout the years of the things that were important to me at some point in my life.
Self-acceptance and learning to love myself are things that I’ve always struggled with. Always. I got 85% on a test but I SHOULD have gotten 90%. I finally ran a 5K after being a chubby kid who hated gym class but I COULD’VE run it faster. I killed seven opponents in Call of Duty: Black Ops online but I COULD’VE killed ten if I were better (seriously, that one happened last night haha). There is just an awful lot of negative self-talk on my behalf that ends up becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. “Oh, you’ll never lose those last 10 baby pounds!” is a common phrase I say to myself when I nail down a good nutrition and workout regimen. And then because I don’t believe in myself, I fail. So, I need to work on that.
Adventure is something I’ve found that I crave a lot lately. To be honest, before my husband’s car accident, running races or going on hard adventure trips never occurred to me. But as soon as he was well enough to race in his wheelchair, we ran/wheeled a 5K together because I signed us both up thinking it would keep us motivated and healthy and it did. I have a dream one day of going on a solo adventure (‘solo’ meaning without anyone I know) overseas to trek mountains and do crazy things that will test my physical capabilities. Nothing like this ever really crossed my mind before TJ’s accident and I don’t know what it is that makes me crave that kind of challenge now but I love it. I think it had something to do with his positivity and perseverance through all of the negative things that had been thrown his way that inspired me to become this way. It just made me realize how short and unpredictable life really is and I want to make sure I take every chance I can get to make my life worth living!
It is important to me that I maintain a close relationship with my daughter for pretty obvious reasons. She has changed me for the better in so many ways and I absolutely cannot imagine who I would be without her in my life. She has taught me so many things about myself, life and my relationship with my hubby and has added laughter and joy to our lives daily. I want to ensure that this relationship stays strong throughout her childhood years and teenage years. I want her to know she can confide in me and I will accept her, no matter what mistakes she may make in life. I am her mother and I am here to love her unconditionally, support her no matter what and make sure she knows damn well how much I love her!!
I am 23 years old and still unsure what I want to do with my life. I have no degree/certificate under my belt and the only skill set I have is fixing an owie when my daughter scraps her knee or cooking a healthy meal for my family (most days). I look forward to getting more of an education some day and I have faith that one day I will have my light bulb moment and know just what it is I am supposed to do with my life. I feel that day is closer now than ever. But, until then, I wait patiently.
So what is it exactly that’s in my makeshift five year plan? Find a career path that’s suited to my personality and interests, pursue that career path through higher education, be there for Melina when she starts Kindergarten (scary thought), to accept any curve balls life throws at my family with grace and ease, to provide a stable home for Melina to rely upon, to add adventure in my life, to learn to love myself and to pass that self-love onto Melina in a healthy way (no arrogance here).
Do you have a five year plan?
I got to thinking about what I want out of life. Many people I know have goals they want to achieve during their lifetime and have even worked on a five or ten year plan. Sitting here and writing this now I realize that I’ve never really thought that far ahead before. Sure, in high school I had a makeshift “bucket list” with specific things I wanted to do before I died, but so many of the things on there don’t even really apply to my life these days that I pretty much scrapped it (though, to be honest, I mostly just lost the list). Things that were important to me then like “become a waitress” and “be someone’s escort to grad” (seriously, those were two of the things on my list) aren’t important to me at all now. Maybe one day I will create another bucket list. Lord knows I love lists! But, for now, I am concentrating on the things that I want out of life. While I’m on my death bed, I want to be able to look back on how I lived and say “yea, I did it. I got the most out of my life!”
So, what is it that I want most out of my life?
- Lots of laughter
- Happiness
- Self-acceptance
- Adventure & challenge
- To be a loving mother with an amazing relationship with my child(ren?)
- Find a career I love
- Learn to love myself
Some of these things on the list like laughter and happiness are already in my life. But I put them on the list because I want to remind myself throughout the years of the things that were important to me at some point in my life.
Self-acceptance and learning to love myself are things that I’ve always struggled with. Always. I got 85% on a test but I SHOULD have gotten 90%. I finally ran a 5K after being a chubby kid who hated gym class but I COULD’VE run it faster. I killed seven opponents in Call of Duty: Black Ops online but I COULD’VE killed ten if I were better (seriously, that one happened last night haha). There is just an awful lot of negative self-talk on my behalf that ends up becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. “Oh, you’ll never lose those last 10 baby pounds!” is a common phrase I say to myself when I nail down a good nutrition and workout regimen. And then because I don’t believe in myself, I fail. So, I need to work on that.
Adventure is something I’ve found that I crave a lot lately. To be honest, before my husband’s car accident, running races or going on hard adventure trips never occurred to me. But as soon as he was well enough to race in his wheelchair, we ran/wheeled a 5K together because I signed us both up thinking it would keep us motivated and healthy and it did. I have a dream one day of going on a solo adventure (‘solo’ meaning without anyone I know) overseas to trek mountains and do crazy things that will test my physical capabilities. Nothing like this ever really crossed my mind before TJ’s accident and I don’t know what it is that makes me crave that kind of challenge now but I love it. I think it had something to do with his positivity and perseverance through all of the negative things that had been thrown his way that inspired me to become this way. It just made me realize how short and unpredictable life really is and I want to make sure I take every chance I can get to make my life worth living!
It is important to me that I maintain a close relationship with my daughter for pretty obvious reasons. She has changed me for the better in so many ways and I absolutely cannot imagine who I would be without her in my life. She has taught me so many things about myself, life and my relationship with my hubby and has added laughter and joy to our lives daily. I want to ensure that this relationship stays strong throughout her childhood years and teenage years. I want her to know she can confide in me and I will accept her, no matter what mistakes she may make in life. I am her mother and I am here to love her unconditionally, support her no matter what and make sure she knows damn well how much I love her!!
I am 23 years old and still unsure what I want to do with my life. I have no degree/certificate under my belt and the only skill set I have is fixing an owie when my daughter scraps her knee or cooking a healthy meal for my family (most days). I look forward to getting more of an education some day and I have faith that one day I will have my light bulb moment and know just what it is I am supposed to do with my life. I feel that day is closer now than ever. But, until then, I wait patiently.
So what is it exactly that’s in my makeshift five year plan? Find a career path that’s suited to my personality and interests, pursue that career path through higher education, be there for Melina when she starts Kindergarten (scary thought), to accept any curve balls life throws at my family with grace and ease, to provide a stable home for Melina to rely upon, to add adventure in my life, to learn to love myself and to pass that self-love onto Melina in a healthy way (no arrogance here).
Do you have a five year plan?
Sunday, July 3, 2011
At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
Oh, wow. Where do I even start with this blog entry?
First & foremost, I am finally a married woman!
As long as TJ and I have been together, it’s still weird for us to call each other husband/wife. There have been a few instances where I had to stop myself from calling him my ‘fiancé.’ I think ‘husband’ is such a grown up sounding word though, isn’t it? I don’t consider TJ or myself grown ups at all, to be honest. Yes, we have grown up responsibilities but I just don’t feel like a grown up! I think I just may refuse to ever ‘grow up’, especially if it means becoming boring, monotonous and bland! BUT, I will save that rant for another day. I’m here to talk about the wedding.
Everything about our day was amazing, special and perfect. I honestly didn’t know what to expect when I woke up the morning of the wedding as we had not yet decided where to hold the wedding ceremony! After the weather man jumped back and forth between “90% chance of showers” to “partly cloudy” for our wedding day the entire week of our wedding, we knew the weather on our big day was going to be hit or miss! When I opened the curtains of my hotel room on the morning of the wedding, it was partly sunny and partly cloudy but the weather man called for thunderstorms in the afternoon, so we mutually decided to move the ceremony indoors to our back-up location which was the local theatre.
The one thing that was really special about both of the indoor and outdoor ceremony locations we had picked is that we visited both of them on the night TJ asked me to be his girlfriend. That night, one of our first dates when we were alone, we went to the movie at the Orpheum Theatre and saw Mission Impossible III. After the movie, we went for a walk through Royal Heights Park (after we got pulled over by the police because TJ’s work van was too loud to be driving on the streets so we had to go park and go for a walk).
The wedding morning went smoothly. Much more smoothly than I expected even though I broke my dress twice before our wedding coordinator (who I owe my life too, I swear) literally sewed me into it! Thanks Melanie! But other than that, things were perfect. My hair turned out awesome. My cousin Brandi came and did my make-up and was even applying it to me during the dress debacle. My bridesmaids look gorgeous. Our daughter was an absolute doll. It was just a dream come true.
I promised myself I wouldn’t cry walking down the aisle. I didn’t want to be one of “those girls. “ But, as soon as I stepped foot into the theatre, heard my song start and saw TJ up on the stage, the waterworks turned on. Part of the tears was just because of all of the planning that went into the wedding and my disbelief that it was actually happening! The other reason I cried was just all that we’ve been through to get us to the point in life where we were actually finally able to get married. It was just overwhelming!
I calmed down by the time I reached the stage because I needed to concentrate on walking up the stairs without falling flat on my face. I also forced myself to hold back some tears because I didn’t want people to have pictures of me walking down the aisle with my ugly cry face. Some women cry gracefully. Not me. I’m one of those people whose faces wrinkle up unapologetically and I end up looking like a newborn baby and just all around repulsive. I haven’t seen any photos of me walking down the aisle yet mid-cry so I hope any creepy ones won’t start circulating anywhere ;)
The ceremony itself went fast. It was filled with lots of eye contact between TJ & myself. We had a whole conversation with each other up on stage without once opening our mouths. It went something like: “I’m so nervous! I hope I don’t mess up the vows. I can’t believe we’re finally here! You look so handsome/beautiful. I love you.” And, honestly, I think our secret conversation is one of the things that is going to stick out most to me about our ceremony. Yes, the vows were sweet but we didn’t write them. Yes, I loved the reading that TJ’s sister read but it was so hard to concentrate on the meaning of the words at that moment. But while everyone else was listening to our marriage commissioner go through the ceremony, TJ and I had our own private moment without anyone else really noticing or knowing and it was just really special.
Another special moment was during the beginning of the ceremony when Melina was trying to give TJ her parasol to hold and then exclaimed “I GOT TO GO PEE! I GOT TO GO PEE!” It really enhanced the romantic moment. ;) But in all seriousness, it was super cute and I’m so proud of her for doing as awesome as she did on the wedding day!
So ends this first wedding day recap! Look for the next one in the coming week!
First & foremost, I am finally a married woman!
As long as TJ and I have been together, it’s still weird for us to call each other husband/wife. There have been a few instances where I had to stop myself from calling him my ‘fiancé.’ I think ‘husband’ is such a grown up sounding word though, isn’t it? I don’t consider TJ or myself grown ups at all, to be honest. Yes, we have grown up responsibilities but I just don’t feel like a grown up! I think I just may refuse to ever ‘grow up’, especially if it means becoming boring, monotonous and bland! BUT, I will save that rant for another day. I’m here to talk about the wedding.
Everything about our day was amazing, special and perfect. I honestly didn’t know what to expect when I woke up the morning of the wedding as we had not yet decided where to hold the wedding ceremony! After the weather man jumped back and forth between “90% chance of showers” to “partly cloudy” for our wedding day the entire week of our wedding, we knew the weather on our big day was going to be hit or miss! When I opened the curtains of my hotel room on the morning of the wedding, it was partly sunny and partly cloudy but the weather man called for thunderstorms in the afternoon, so we mutually decided to move the ceremony indoors to our back-up location which was the local theatre.
The one thing that was really special about both of the indoor and outdoor ceremony locations we had picked is that we visited both of them on the night TJ asked me to be his girlfriend. That night, one of our first dates when we were alone, we went to the movie at the Orpheum Theatre and saw Mission Impossible III. After the movie, we went for a walk through Royal Heights Park (after we got pulled over by the police because TJ’s work van was too loud to be driving on the streets so we had to go park and go for a walk).
The wedding morning went smoothly. Much more smoothly than I expected even though I broke my dress twice before our wedding coordinator (who I owe my life too, I swear) literally sewed me into it! Thanks Melanie! But other than that, things were perfect. My hair turned out awesome. My cousin Brandi came and did my make-up and was even applying it to me during the dress debacle. My bridesmaids look gorgeous. Our daughter was an absolute doll. It was just a dream come true.
I promised myself I wouldn’t cry walking down the aisle. I didn’t want to be one of “those girls. “ But, as soon as I stepped foot into the theatre, heard my song start and saw TJ up on the stage, the waterworks turned on. Part of the tears was just because of all of the planning that went into the wedding and my disbelief that it was actually happening! The other reason I cried was just all that we’ve been through to get us to the point in life where we were actually finally able to get married. It was just overwhelming!
I calmed down by the time I reached the stage because I needed to concentrate on walking up the stairs without falling flat on my face. I also forced myself to hold back some tears because I didn’t want people to have pictures of me walking down the aisle with my ugly cry face. Some women cry gracefully. Not me. I’m one of those people whose faces wrinkle up unapologetically and I end up looking like a newborn baby and just all around repulsive. I haven’t seen any photos of me walking down the aisle yet mid-cry so I hope any creepy ones won’t start circulating anywhere ;)
The ceremony itself went fast. It was filled with lots of eye contact between TJ & myself. We had a whole conversation with each other up on stage without once opening our mouths. It went something like: “I’m so nervous! I hope I don’t mess up the vows. I can’t believe we’re finally here! You look so handsome/beautiful. I love you.” And, honestly, I think our secret conversation is one of the things that is going to stick out most to me about our ceremony. Yes, the vows were sweet but we didn’t write them. Yes, I loved the reading that TJ’s sister read but it was so hard to concentrate on the meaning of the words at that moment. But while everyone else was listening to our marriage commissioner go through the ceremony, TJ and I had our own private moment without anyone else really noticing or knowing and it was just really special.
Another special moment was during the beginning of the ceremony when Melina was trying to give TJ her parasol to hold and then exclaimed “I GOT TO GO PEE! I GOT TO GO PEE!” It really enhanced the romantic moment. ;) But in all seriousness, it was super cute and I’m so proud of her for doing as awesome as she did on the wedding day!
So ends this first wedding day recap! Look for the next one in the coming week!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Every man dies. Not every man really lives.
I thought this might be something fun to blog about. It likely won’t be interesting for those of you who are actually reading this (thanks, by the way), but I am writing it to benefit myself, in a way. It’s fun to reflect on how my life and personality has changed over the years.
Who I was in high school.
My first day of high school started with physical education. Every day for the first semester of Grade 9 I was forced into awkward change rooms and terrible gym classes filled with running and sports I hated. I remember having to run a mile for one of our fit tests and it was just, all around, a terrible experience for me (a) because the Grade 12 boys, who had class on the opposite side of the curtained-off gym at the same time as my class, were our “partners” and had to count each lap we did until we reached 13, which was equivalent to a mile and (b) I was out of shape, badly, and hated running. I think I was one of the last girls to finish their mile and it was humiliating.
Another fond memory of Grade 9 was in my English class on picture day. I used to have this terrible habit of gnawing on my pens (which, by the way, led to another fun Grade 9 memory where I broke one of my teeth in half [yes, in half] by chewing on a pen lid in my science class) and on this particular day, I chewed so hard on my pen that it blew up. In my mouth. I was the shy, quiet girl in class so I didn’t want to bring attention to myself by screeching or something that would have everyone in the class see me blue-mouthed. Instead, I covered my mouth and calmly put up my hand, waiting until the teacher called on me. When he said my name, I moved my hand away from my mouth and he burst out laughing and added, with urgency, “Yes, Chantelle!! Go to the bathroom!” I washed what I could off my skin and out of my mouth and wandered back to my class with all of my fellow classmates giving me a knowing look. It was a rather funny moment but, still, embarrassing and incredibly awkward.
This next part is something incredibly personal and hard to share because I haven’t told a lot of people about it. I’m not looking for sympathy so keep that in mind as you read on. In Grade 10, I started my first job as a hostess at a local family restaurant. I was incredibly shy. Painfully so. I almost got fired a few times for my shyness and just general lack of know-how in the restaurant industry. It took me months of working at the restaurant for me to feel comfortable enough around my coworkers to talk to them and joke with them. Once I improved at communicating with my coworkers, I was able to talk more to the customers and was eventually promoted to waitress, at which point I picked up five closing shifts a week and also a terrible habit for eating. I would come home from school, eat supper, go to work and then eat another supper on my break. I quickly gained weight. And lots of it. The added weight didn’t bother me because I didn’t think I was overweight. Once gym class became an option instead of a required class, I dropped out of that and literally had no physical activity aside from working. It wasn’t until Grade 12 when it came time to shop for graduation dresses that my weight started bothering me. So, I restricted my food intake heavily and started dropping weight. It came off fast, much faster than I anticipated it to. When grad day was around the corner, I had to have my dress taken in quite a bit because I had lost an upwards of 30 pounds. It was a ‘dark’ time in my life. Food became something I obsessed over and although I looked a lot better than I did at the start of my Grade 12 year, it was never enough. The “disordered eating”, as I like to call it, continued on into my few years of university I did attend. It was incredibly unhealthy but I never was happy enough with the way I looked to stop.
So, who was I in high school? A shy, awkward, quiet, obsessive girl who spent much of her time talking to boys on the internet (one of which is my soon-to-be husband) and playing computer games. I was emotional, sensitive and sad a lot of the time. I didn’t make many friends in high school and I will always regret that.
Who I am now.
Though my experiences through high school have shaped who I have become, I am an entirely different person now than I was then.
I am not as shy as I used to be. I have improved tenfold since my quiet hostess days. I am just as awkward as ever though. In fact, I might more awkward due to my decrease in shyness. Just the other day I asked the employee at Costco who took my picture for our Costco card if I looked like a serial murderer. He laughed awkwardly and the rest of our exchange had a very unpleasant air to it. Note to self: use your ability for reading people to read people better!!
I have learned a lot about myself from having my daughter. My eating habits have changed significantly, for one. I have introduced a healthy lifestyle into our household. We don’t forbid treats from our house because I know that’ll cause me to binge and that might cause my old restricting habits to return. My fiancé and I exercise together when we can. Melina sees me doing exercise videos and playing exercise video games all of the time and even joins in on occasion. I will do everything in my power to instil confidence in my daughter so she doesn’t grow up hating herself and her body like I did.
I changed from someone who yearned for love, sure that no one could ever love me the way I wanted them too, to someone in love and on the verge of getting married.
I am certain there are still things to be learned and revelations to be made in my life but I am a much different person now and I couldn’t be happier about it.
Oh and for the record, I can run a mile now, no problem. And I actually enjoy doing it. Take THAT 15-year-old me!
Who I was in high school.
My first day of high school started with physical education. Every day for the first semester of Grade 9 I was forced into awkward change rooms and terrible gym classes filled with running and sports I hated. I remember having to run a mile for one of our fit tests and it was just, all around, a terrible experience for me (a) because the Grade 12 boys, who had class on the opposite side of the curtained-off gym at the same time as my class, were our “partners” and had to count each lap we did until we reached 13, which was equivalent to a mile and (b) I was out of shape, badly, and hated running. I think I was one of the last girls to finish their mile and it was humiliating.
Another fond memory of Grade 9 was in my English class on picture day. I used to have this terrible habit of gnawing on my pens (which, by the way, led to another fun Grade 9 memory where I broke one of my teeth in half [yes, in half] by chewing on a pen lid in my science class) and on this particular day, I chewed so hard on my pen that it blew up. In my mouth. I was the shy, quiet girl in class so I didn’t want to bring attention to myself by screeching or something that would have everyone in the class see me blue-mouthed. Instead, I covered my mouth and calmly put up my hand, waiting until the teacher called on me. When he said my name, I moved my hand away from my mouth and he burst out laughing and added, with urgency, “Yes, Chantelle!! Go to the bathroom!” I washed what I could off my skin and out of my mouth and wandered back to my class with all of my fellow classmates giving me a knowing look. It was a rather funny moment but, still, embarrassing and incredibly awkward.
This next part is something incredibly personal and hard to share because I haven’t told a lot of people about it. I’m not looking for sympathy so keep that in mind as you read on. In Grade 10, I started my first job as a hostess at a local family restaurant. I was incredibly shy. Painfully so. I almost got fired a few times for my shyness and just general lack of know-how in the restaurant industry. It took me months of working at the restaurant for me to feel comfortable enough around my coworkers to talk to them and joke with them. Once I improved at communicating with my coworkers, I was able to talk more to the customers and was eventually promoted to waitress, at which point I picked up five closing shifts a week and also a terrible habit for eating. I would come home from school, eat supper, go to work and then eat another supper on my break. I quickly gained weight. And lots of it. The added weight didn’t bother me because I didn’t think I was overweight. Once gym class became an option instead of a required class, I dropped out of that and literally had no physical activity aside from working. It wasn’t until Grade 12 when it came time to shop for graduation dresses that my weight started bothering me. So, I restricted my food intake heavily and started dropping weight. It came off fast, much faster than I anticipated it to. When grad day was around the corner, I had to have my dress taken in quite a bit because I had lost an upwards of 30 pounds. It was a ‘dark’ time in my life. Food became something I obsessed over and although I looked a lot better than I did at the start of my Grade 12 year, it was never enough. The “disordered eating”, as I like to call it, continued on into my few years of university I did attend. It was incredibly unhealthy but I never was happy enough with the way I looked to stop.
So, who was I in high school? A shy, awkward, quiet, obsessive girl who spent much of her time talking to boys on the internet (one of which is my soon-to-be husband) and playing computer games. I was emotional, sensitive and sad a lot of the time. I didn’t make many friends in high school and I will always regret that.
Who I am now.
Though my experiences through high school have shaped who I have become, I am an entirely different person now than I was then.
I am not as shy as I used to be. I have improved tenfold since my quiet hostess days. I am just as awkward as ever though. In fact, I might more awkward due to my decrease in shyness. Just the other day I asked the employee at Costco who took my picture for our Costco card if I looked like a serial murderer. He laughed awkwardly and the rest of our exchange had a very unpleasant air to it. Note to self: use your ability for reading people to read people better!!
I have learned a lot about myself from having my daughter. My eating habits have changed significantly, for one. I have introduced a healthy lifestyle into our household. We don’t forbid treats from our house because I know that’ll cause me to binge and that might cause my old restricting habits to return. My fiancé and I exercise together when we can. Melina sees me doing exercise videos and playing exercise video games all of the time and even joins in on occasion. I will do everything in my power to instil confidence in my daughter so she doesn’t grow up hating herself and her body like I did.
I changed from someone who yearned for love, sure that no one could ever love me the way I wanted them too, to someone in love and on the verge of getting married.
I am certain there are still things to be learned and revelations to be made in my life but I am a much different person now and I couldn’t be happier about it.
Oh and for the record, I can run a mile now, no problem. And I actually enjoy doing it. Take THAT 15-year-old me!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will
You know how sometimes people complain about how they think they were meant to live in a different decade? The 30's because of their love for big band music or others who thought they were meant to live through the first Woodstock because of their love of music/drugs ;)?
I think I can safely say that I was born in the right decade.
Sometimes I wish that I had been born earlier so I could have experienced things that I can only now read now and experience life as it was for my grandparents but I’m glad I was born in the late 80’s and here’s why.
Technology.
I love it. It has opened a world of possibilities for me. But, let’s be honest, I hate it somedays too, like when we were trying to print off our wedding invitations on our home printer and the printer kept dying out on us. We literally stole (ok, borrowed) computers from my fiance’s family members so we could finish the job. Three printers later, the invites were successfully (for the most part) printed. But it was a huge pain.
I love technology because I have met some of the most important people in my life via the internet.
My fiancé & I met via a website called Teen Matchmaker. Doesn’t that just sound like a haven for serial murderers and stalkers? Although we grew up in towns only an hour apart from each other, it took us four years of chatting online to actually meet face-to-face.
One of my favourite stories to tell about us happened before we even met face-to-face. It had been a while since I talked to him last on MSN or had even received an e-mail from him. He was living in Brandon at the time. One day, I randomly thought of him and told myself when I got home from work that night I would write him an e-mail. It ended up being a rather slow night at work so I was let go a half hour into my shift. When I got home, I checked my e-mails and, lo and behold, I had received one from him telling me how he was thinking about how long it’s been since we had talked, etc, etc. Call me cheesy but that blew my mind that we had gone months without communicating and on the exact day I told myself I’d contact him again, he beat me to it!
Anyway, I got a little off topic here. So back to the internet.
Without the internet, I would not have met my fiancé. I’m scared of the person I would have become had he not become part of my life.
Another important person in my life is a girl I have known since I was just a young pup in high school named Emily. We met online via a blogging community when we started following one another’s journals. Some way or another, we began talked on MSN and then eventually exchanged cell phone numbers at which point our relationship became mostly based on text messages exchanged all day, every day. Emily knows more about me and my life than anybody else in the world. She has been there for me since TJ and I began talking on the computer. She’s watched our relationship grow and has seen me through some of the bad times in my life! We even call each other 'twins' because of all the ridiculous things we have in common with one another. It seriously gets freaky sometimes. I've never instantly clicked with someone like I did with Emily!
The only downside to our friendship is that she lives in across the country in Toronto. But, after years and years of friendship, laughter, and support shared primarily via text messages, we finally met face-to-face in March. I randomly made the decision to go visit her by basically invited myself to her house (sorry about that, by the way!) but she welcomed me with open arms.
Some people might think I’m stupid and irresponsible for meeting someone I don’t know in a huge city I have never been to before but it was an adventure for me and I haven’t looked back! I encountered many ‘firsts’ while on my short visit to Toronto (taking public transportation, for example) and Emily and boyfriend got some kicks out of the small town girl who doesn’t know how to stand on the subway without falling over.
We have plans to meet again someday, sooner rather than later. But this time, she's coming to visit me. What kind of trouble could these twins get into in small town Saskatchewan? Stay tuned...
I think I can safely say that I was born in the right decade.
Sometimes I wish that I had been born earlier so I could have experienced things that I can only now read now and experience life as it was for my grandparents but I’m glad I was born in the late 80’s and here’s why.
Technology.
I love it. It has opened a world of possibilities for me. But, let’s be honest, I hate it somedays too, like when we were trying to print off our wedding invitations on our home printer and the printer kept dying out on us. We literally stole (ok, borrowed) computers from my fiance’s family members so we could finish the job. Three printers later, the invites were successfully (for the most part) printed. But it was a huge pain.
I love technology because I have met some of the most important people in my life via the internet.
My fiancé & I met via a website called Teen Matchmaker. Doesn’t that just sound like a haven for serial murderers and stalkers? Although we grew up in towns only an hour apart from each other, it took us four years of chatting online to actually meet face-to-face.
One of my favourite stories to tell about us happened before we even met face-to-face. It had been a while since I talked to him last on MSN or had even received an e-mail from him. He was living in Brandon at the time. One day, I randomly thought of him and told myself when I got home from work that night I would write him an e-mail. It ended up being a rather slow night at work so I was let go a half hour into my shift. When I got home, I checked my e-mails and, lo and behold, I had received one from him telling me how he was thinking about how long it’s been since we had talked, etc, etc. Call me cheesy but that blew my mind that we had gone months without communicating and on the exact day I told myself I’d contact him again, he beat me to it!
Anyway, I got a little off topic here. So back to the internet.
Without the internet, I would not have met my fiancé. I’m scared of the person I would have become had he not become part of my life.
Another important person in my life is a girl I have known since I was just a young pup in high school named Emily. We met online via a blogging community when we started following one another’s journals. Some way or another, we began talked on MSN and then eventually exchanged cell phone numbers at which point our relationship became mostly based on text messages exchanged all day, every day. Emily knows more about me and my life than anybody else in the world. She has been there for me since TJ and I began talking on the computer. She’s watched our relationship grow and has seen me through some of the bad times in my life! We even call each other 'twins' because of all the ridiculous things we have in common with one another. It seriously gets freaky sometimes. I've never instantly clicked with someone like I did with Emily!
The only downside to our friendship is that she lives in across the country in Toronto. But, after years and years of friendship, laughter, and support shared primarily via text messages, we finally met face-to-face in March. I randomly made the decision to go visit her by basically invited myself to her house (sorry about that, by the way!) but she welcomed me with open arms.
Some people might think I’m stupid and irresponsible for meeting someone I don’t know in a huge city I have never been to before but it was an adventure for me and I haven’t looked back! I encountered many ‘firsts’ while on my short visit to Toronto (taking public transportation, for example) and Emily and boyfriend got some kicks out of the small town girl who doesn’t know how to stand on the subway without falling over.
We have plans to meet again someday, sooner rather than later. But this time, she's coming to visit me. What kind of trouble could these twins get into in small town Saskatchewan? Stay tuned...
Friday, June 17, 2011
Love me and the world is mine
Ok, folks. Here it is - the inevitable pre-wedding blog entry. I know everyone is sick of hearing me talk about it (even me, somedays!) but it has to happen.
This wedding has been a long time coming. He proposed to me on New Years Eve 2007 – a lifetime ago – in the Dominican Republic. It was the best way to kick off the new year! We never meant to have such a looong engagement but life, as it has a way of doing, kind of got in the way!
I knew I would marry my fiancé just a couple weeks into our relationship. It’s so fun for me to go back in time and read my old journals from when I started dating him.
June 12, 2006
“I've seen TJ every single day since last Friday. Loving every minute of it. We have so much in common and when we're together, we laugh like there's no freakin' tomorrow. How many people can say that they've had their pet turtles run away? Haha. TJ & I can! We're sweet like that.
...And his smile. Oh God. I don't think anyone else's smile has ever (and will ever) have the same effect on me as TJ's does. It's amazing. Contagious. I'm never not smiling when we're together..”
And...five years later, we are still are the dorkiest and funnest people (err...parents!) I know and his smile still is just as gorgeous and as incredibly contagious as ever.
The wedding planning process has been a blast for me. I have spent countless hours ensuring that our wedding is outside of the box and not your average, run of the mill wedding. We want it to be memorable, not just for my fiancé and myself, but for the people who have played such a vital part in our lives and made us who we are. I hope that we have succeeded in that venture.
I can’t believe the wedding day is nearly here. In 8 short days, I will become a Mrs. I have spending my entire life dreaming about my wedding day and to see that it’s almost actually here is very surreal. It's hard to believe that he proposed over three years ago already.
Our lives have changed so much from that love struck couple getting who got engaged in the Dominican Republic on New Years Eve 2007! We have been through hell and back and have had our relationship and commitment for one another tested time and time again but have been there for each other every step of the way.
Yes, I may not be the same 18-year-old who wrote that journal entry I quoted above, but my feelings for TJ have not changed.
Enjoy this flashback to our humble beginnings!
(June 2006, our first photo together as a couple)
(September 2006, my 19th birthday....a big blur for me)
(December 2006, our first Christmas together with the ugliest Christmas tree I've ever seen lol)
(June 2007)
(September 2007, my birthday)
(December 2007, the night he proposed)
(March 2008)
(August 2008)
(October 2008, proud/tired parents!)
(October 2009, our engagement photos)
(October 2009, Melina's 1st birthday)
(October 2009, Halloween after TJ's accident)
(January 2010, during one of TJ's physiotherapy sessions)
(August 2010, my family!)
(April 2011, hands-on training at Project Walk in California)
(June 2011, our wedding shower)
I hope you enjoyed the blast from the past that these photos provided! It was fun putting them together and eye-opening seeing just how much we've been through together as such a young couple! I anticipate our future together.
This wedding has been a long time coming. He proposed to me on New Years Eve 2007 – a lifetime ago – in the Dominican Republic. It was the best way to kick off the new year! We never meant to have such a looong engagement but life, as it has a way of doing, kind of got in the way!
I knew I would marry my fiancé just a couple weeks into our relationship. It’s so fun for me to go back in time and read my old journals from when I started dating him.
June 12, 2006
“I've seen TJ every single day since last Friday. Loving every minute of it. We have so much in common and when we're together, we laugh like there's no freakin' tomorrow. How many people can say that they've had their pet turtles run away? Haha. TJ & I can! We're sweet like that.
...And his smile. Oh God. I don't think anyone else's smile has ever (and will ever) have the same effect on me as TJ's does. It's amazing. Contagious. I'm never not smiling when we're together..”
And...five years later, we are still are the dorkiest and funnest people (err...parents!) I know and his smile still is just as gorgeous and as incredibly contagious as ever.
The wedding planning process has been a blast for me. I have spent countless hours ensuring that our wedding is outside of the box and not your average, run of the mill wedding. We want it to be memorable, not just for my fiancé and myself, but for the people who have played such a vital part in our lives and made us who we are. I hope that we have succeeded in that venture.
I can’t believe the wedding day is nearly here. In 8 short days, I will become a Mrs. I have spending my entire life dreaming about my wedding day and to see that it’s almost actually here is very surreal. It's hard to believe that he proposed over three years ago already.
Our lives have changed so much from that love struck couple getting who got engaged in the Dominican Republic on New Years Eve 2007! We have been through hell and back and have had our relationship and commitment for one another tested time and time again but have been there for each other every step of the way.
Yes, I may not be the same 18-year-old who wrote that journal entry I quoted above, but my feelings for TJ have not changed.
Enjoy this flashback to our humble beginnings!
(June 2006, our first photo together as a couple)
(September 2006, my 19th birthday....a big blur for me)
(December 2006, our first Christmas together with the ugliest Christmas tree I've ever seen lol)
(June 2007)
(September 2007, my birthday)
(December 2007, the night he proposed)
(March 2008)
(August 2008)
(October 2008, proud/tired parents!)
(October 2009, our engagement photos)
(October 2009, Melina's 1st birthday)
(October 2009, Halloween after TJ's accident)
(January 2010, during one of TJ's physiotherapy sessions)
(August 2010, my family!)
(April 2011, hands-on training at Project Walk in California)
(June 2011, our wedding shower)
I hope you enjoyed the blast from the past that these photos provided! It was fun putting them together and eye-opening seeing just how much we've been through together as such a young couple! I anticipate our future together.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Insist on yourself. Never imitate.
I will be honest right out of the gate.
I am starting this blog on the advice of my psychic.
I don’t know what I will talk about. But my psychic advised me months ago that it would be beneficial for me to start a blog. I am meant to write. That’s my career path. And if I don’t start taking that path, the door is going to close before it is even open. That’s a scary thought.
What will the theme of this blog be? I have yet to decide. I follow a few blogs that focus on healthy eating, clean eating, fitness, motherhood, etc. But I am neither confident or versed enough in any of those to start a blog on solely one topic.
So here’s what we have. A blog about my life. Things that happen and have happened to me and my family. Things that are important to me on any given day.
Will I write often? Doubtful. Most days I’m given a few minutes here & there of internet time before my daughter comes and takes me away.
Will people actually read this? Again, doubtful. But I do plan on posting it on Facebook when I make an update.
So, let’s start with the basics.
Who am I?
I am Chantelle. I am 23. I am a cookie dough lover, a fitness enthusiast, a zumba addict, a bookworm, a person who cries excessively over the heartbreaking SPCA commercials (c’mon, how could those sad-eyed animals not pull at your heartstrings), a hater of mosquitoes, totally passive-aggressive, a girl with big dreams, a child at heart, a proud mommy, a lover of all things vintage, a Big Bang Theory addict, a reality TV show hater, a quiet person at first, a woman who hates clothes shopping, a newfound shoe enthusiast and a huge self-proclaimed DORK.
Who am I? I’m not sure I accurately answer this question in the career-aspect of my life. While all of my friends have university degrees and are on their way to fulfilling careers, I am the one who still has no clue what direction to take in life. Yes, I know I should write. But what kind of writing? I tried the newspaper reporter route and it just wasn’t for me. At all. I enjoyed most of the few months I worked for the local newspaper mainly because I stepped out of my box to apply for that job and it was a good experience, overall. I had a taste of what it was to write for a living but it just wasn’t the kind of job that I could continue on with.
I am a mother. While I may not have achieved much when it comes to my career, I have given birth and survived the first two and a half years of my daughter’s life. That is an achievement in and of itself. Motherhood isn’t all sunshine and lollipops. It’s hard. I can’t explain how hard it is to see your child in pain and there’s nothing you can do to fix it aside from excessive cuddling. There’s nothing more rewarding than coming home from work or from a workout and having your daughter run towards you, arms outstretched, yelling “Mommy!! You’re home!!” excitedly. So maybe I don’t have a high paying, high profile job but I bet I can say that my ‘career’ as a Mommy is more rewarding than a six-figure pay cheque. Just sayin’.
I am starting this blog on the advice of my psychic.
I don’t know what I will talk about. But my psychic advised me months ago that it would be beneficial for me to start a blog. I am meant to write. That’s my career path. And if I don’t start taking that path, the door is going to close before it is even open. That’s a scary thought.
What will the theme of this blog be? I have yet to decide. I follow a few blogs that focus on healthy eating, clean eating, fitness, motherhood, etc. But I am neither confident or versed enough in any of those to start a blog on solely one topic.
So here’s what we have. A blog about my life. Things that happen and have happened to me and my family. Things that are important to me on any given day.
Will I write often? Doubtful. Most days I’m given a few minutes here & there of internet time before my daughter comes and takes me away.
Will people actually read this? Again, doubtful. But I do plan on posting it on Facebook when I make an update.
So, let’s start with the basics.
Who am I?
I am Chantelle. I am 23. I am a cookie dough lover, a fitness enthusiast, a zumba addict, a bookworm, a person who cries excessively over the heartbreaking SPCA commercials (c’mon, how could those sad-eyed animals not pull at your heartstrings), a hater of mosquitoes, totally passive-aggressive, a girl with big dreams, a child at heart, a proud mommy, a lover of all things vintage, a Big Bang Theory addict, a reality TV show hater, a quiet person at first, a woman who hates clothes shopping, a newfound shoe enthusiast and a huge self-proclaimed DORK.
Who am I? I’m not sure I accurately answer this question in the career-aspect of my life. While all of my friends have university degrees and are on their way to fulfilling careers, I am the one who still has no clue what direction to take in life. Yes, I know I should write. But what kind of writing? I tried the newspaper reporter route and it just wasn’t for me. At all. I enjoyed most of the few months I worked for the local newspaper mainly because I stepped out of my box to apply for that job and it was a good experience, overall. I had a taste of what it was to write for a living but it just wasn’t the kind of job that I could continue on with.
I am a mother. While I may not have achieved much when it comes to my career, I have given birth and survived the first two and a half years of my daughter’s life. That is an achievement in and of itself. Motherhood isn’t all sunshine and lollipops. It’s hard. I can’t explain how hard it is to see your child in pain and there’s nothing you can do to fix it aside from excessive cuddling. There’s nothing more rewarding than coming home from work or from a workout and having your daughter run towards you, arms outstretched, yelling “Mommy!! You’re home!!” excitedly. So maybe I don’t have a high paying, high profile job but I bet I can say that my ‘career’ as a Mommy is more rewarding than a six-figure pay cheque. Just sayin’.
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