I thought this might be something fun to blog about. It likely won’t be interesting for those of you who are actually reading this (thanks, by the way), but I am writing it to benefit myself, in a way. It’s fun to reflect on how my life and personality has changed over the years.
Who I was in high school.
My first day of high school started with physical education. Every day for the first semester of Grade 9 I was forced into awkward change rooms and terrible gym classes filled with running and sports I hated. I remember having to run a mile for one of our fit tests and it was just, all around, a terrible experience for me (a) because the Grade 12 boys, who had class on the opposite side of the curtained-off gym at the same time as my class, were our “partners” and had to count each lap we did until we reached 13, which was equivalent to a mile and (b) I was out of shape, badly, and hated running. I think I was one of the last girls to finish their mile and it was humiliating.
Another fond memory of Grade 9 was in my English class on picture day. I used to have this terrible habit of gnawing on my pens (which, by the way, led to another fun Grade 9 memory where I broke one of my teeth in half [yes, in half] by chewing on a pen lid in my science class) and on this particular day, I chewed so hard on my pen that it blew up. In my mouth. I was the shy, quiet girl in class so I didn’t want to bring attention to myself by screeching or something that would have everyone in the class see me blue-mouthed. Instead, I covered my mouth and calmly put up my hand, waiting until the teacher called on me. When he said my name, I moved my hand away from my mouth and he burst out laughing and added, with urgency, “Yes, Chantelle!! Go to the bathroom!” I washed what I could off my skin and out of my mouth and wandered back to my class with all of my fellow classmates giving me a knowing look. It was a rather funny moment but, still, embarrassing and incredibly awkward.
This next part is something incredibly personal and hard to share because I haven’t told a lot of people about it. I’m not looking for sympathy so keep that in mind as you read on. In Grade 10, I started my first job as a hostess at a local family restaurant. I was incredibly shy. Painfully so. I almost got fired a few times for my shyness and just general lack of know-how in the restaurant industry. It took me months of working at the restaurant for me to feel comfortable enough around my coworkers to talk to them and joke with them. Once I improved at communicating with my coworkers, I was able to talk more to the customers and was eventually promoted to waitress, at which point I picked up five closing shifts a week and also a terrible habit for eating. I would come home from school, eat supper, go to work and then eat another supper on my break. I quickly gained weight. And lots of it. The added weight didn’t bother me because I didn’t think I was overweight. Once gym class became an option instead of a required class, I dropped out of that and literally had no physical activity aside from working. It wasn’t until Grade 12 when it came time to shop for graduation dresses that my weight started bothering me. So, I restricted my food intake heavily and started dropping weight. It came off fast, much faster than I anticipated it to. When grad day was around the corner, I had to have my dress taken in quite a bit because I had lost an upwards of 30 pounds. It was a ‘dark’ time in my life. Food became something I obsessed over and although I looked a lot better than I did at the start of my Grade 12 year, it was never enough. The “disordered eating”, as I like to call it, continued on into my few years of university I did attend. It was incredibly unhealthy but I never was happy enough with the way I looked to stop.
So, who was I in high school? A shy, awkward, quiet, obsessive girl who spent much of her time talking to boys on the internet (one of which is my soon-to-be husband) and playing computer games. I was emotional, sensitive and sad a lot of the time. I didn’t make many friends in high school and I will always regret that.
Who I am now.
Though my experiences through high school have shaped who I have become, I am an entirely different person now than I was then.
I am not as shy as I used to be. I have improved tenfold since my quiet hostess days. I am just as awkward as ever though. In fact, I might more awkward due to my decrease in shyness. Just the other day I asked the employee at Costco who took my picture for our Costco card if I looked like a serial murderer. He laughed awkwardly and the rest of our exchange had a very unpleasant air to it. Note to self: use your ability for reading people to read people better!!
I have learned a lot about myself from having my daughter. My eating habits have changed significantly, for one. I have introduced a healthy lifestyle into our household. We don’t forbid treats from our house because I know that’ll cause me to binge and that might cause my old restricting habits to return. My fiancé and I exercise together when we can. Melina sees me doing exercise videos and playing exercise video games all of the time and even joins in on occasion. I will do everything in my power to instil confidence in my daughter so she doesn’t grow up hating herself and her body like I did.
I changed from someone who yearned for love, sure that no one could ever love me the way I wanted them too, to someone in love and on the verge of getting married.
I am certain there are still things to be learned and revelations to be made in my life but I am a much different person now and I couldn’t be happier about it.
Oh and for the record, I can run a mile now, no problem. And I actually enjoy doing it. Take THAT 15-year-old me!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will
You know how sometimes people complain about how they think they were meant to live in a different decade? The 30's because of their love for big band music or others who thought they were meant to live through the first Woodstock because of their love of music/drugs ;)?
I think I can safely say that I was born in the right decade.
Sometimes I wish that I had been born earlier so I could have experienced things that I can only now read now and experience life as it was for my grandparents but I’m glad I was born in the late 80’s and here’s why.
Technology.
I love it. It has opened a world of possibilities for me. But, let’s be honest, I hate it somedays too, like when we were trying to print off our wedding invitations on our home printer and the printer kept dying out on us. We literally stole (ok, borrowed) computers from my fiance’s family members so we could finish the job. Three printers later, the invites were successfully (for the most part) printed. But it was a huge pain.
I love technology because I have met some of the most important people in my life via the internet.
My fiancé & I met via a website called Teen Matchmaker. Doesn’t that just sound like a haven for serial murderers and stalkers? Although we grew up in towns only an hour apart from each other, it took us four years of chatting online to actually meet face-to-face.
One of my favourite stories to tell about us happened before we even met face-to-face. It had been a while since I talked to him last on MSN or had even received an e-mail from him. He was living in Brandon at the time. One day, I randomly thought of him and told myself when I got home from work that night I would write him an e-mail. It ended up being a rather slow night at work so I was let go a half hour into my shift. When I got home, I checked my e-mails and, lo and behold, I had received one from him telling me how he was thinking about how long it’s been since we had talked, etc, etc. Call me cheesy but that blew my mind that we had gone months without communicating and on the exact day I told myself I’d contact him again, he beat me to it!
Anyway, I got a little off topic here. So back to the internet.
Without the internet, I would not have met my fiancé. I’m scared of the person I would have become had he not become part of my life.
Another important person in my life is a girl I have known since I was just a young pup in high school named Emily. We met online via a blogging community when we started following one another’s journals. Some way or another, we began talked on MSN and then eventually exchanged cell phone numbers at which point our relationship became mostly based on text messages exchanged all day, every day. Emily knows more about me and my life than anybody else in the world. She has been there for me since TJ and I began talking on the computer. She’s watched our relationship grow and has seen me through some of the bad times in my life! We even call each other 'twins' because of all the ridiculous things we have in common with one another. It seriously gets freaky sometimes. I've never instantly clicked with someone like I did with Emily!
The only downside to our friendship is that she lives in across the country in Toronto. But, after years and years of friendship, laughter, and support shared primarily via text messages, we finally met face-to-face in March. I randomly made the decision to go visit her by basically invited myself to her house (sorry about that, by the way!) but she welcomed me with open arms.
Some people might think I’m stupid and irresponsible for meeting someone I don’t know in a huge city I have never been to before but it was an adventure for me and I haven’t looked back! I encountered many ‘firsts’ while on my short visit to Toronto (taking public transportation, for example) and Emily and boyfriend got some kicks out of the small town girl who doesn’t know how to stand on the subway without falling over.
We have plans to meet again someday, sooner rather than later. But this time, she's coming to visit me. What kind of trouble could these twins get into in small town Saskatchewan? Stay tuned...
I think I can safely say that I was born in the right decade.
Sometimes I wish that I had been born earlier so I could have experienced things that I can only now read now and experience life as it was for my grandparents but I’m glad I was born in the late 80’s and here’s why.
Technology.
I love it. It has opened a world of possibilities for me. But, let’s be honest, I hate it somedays too, like when we were trying to print off our wedding invitations on our home printer and the printer kept dying out on us. We literally stole (ok, borrowed) computers from my fiance’s family members so we could finish the job. Three printers later, the invites were successfully (for the most part) printed. But it was a huge pain.
I love technology because I have met some of the most important people in my life via the internet.
My fiancé & I met via a website called Teen Matchmaker. Doesn’t that just sound like a haven for serial murderers and stalkers? Although we grew up in towns only an hour apart from each other, it took us four years of chatting online to actually meet face-to-face.
One of my favourite stories to tell about us happened before we even met face-to-face. It had been a while since I talked to him last on MSN or had even received an e-mail from him. He was living in Brandon at the time. One day, I randomly thought of him and told myself when I got home from work that night I would write him an e-mail. It ended up being a rather slow night at work so I was let go a half hour into my shift. When I got home, I checked my e-mails and, lo and behold, I had received one from him telling me how he was thinking about how long it’s been since we had talked, etc, etc. Call me cheesy but that blew my mind that we had gone months without communicating and on the exact day I told myself I’d contact him again, he beat me to it!
Anyway, I got a little off topic here. So back to the internet.
Without the internet, I would not have met my fiancé. I’m scared of the person I would have become had he not become part of my life.
Another important person in my life is a girl I have known since I was just a young pup in high school named Emily. We met online via a blogging community when we started following one another’s journals. Some way or another, we began talked on MSN and then eventually exchanged cell phone numbers at which point our relationship became mostly based on text messages exchanged all day, every day. Emily knows more about me and my life than anybody else in the world. She has been there for me since TJ and I began talking on the computer. She’s watched our relationship grow and has seen me through some of the bad times in my life! We even call each other 'twins' because of all the ridiculous things we have in common with one another. It seriously gets freaky sometimes. I've never instantly clicked with someone like I did with Emily!
The only downside to our friendship is that she lives in across the country in Toronto. But, after years and years of friendship, laughter, and support shared primarily via text messages, we finally met face-to-face in March. I randomly made the decision to go visit her by basically invited myself to her house (sorry about that, by the way!) but she welcomed me with open arms.
Some people might think I’m stupid and irresponsible for meeting someone I don’t know in a huge city I have never been to before but it was an adventure for me and I haven’t looked back! I encountered many ‘firsts’ while on my short visit to Toronto (taking public transportation, for example) and Emily and boyfriend got some kicks out of the small town girl who doesn’t know how to stand on the subway without falling over.
We have plans to meet again someday, sooner rather than later. But this time, she's coming to visit me. What kind of trouble could these twins get into in small town Saskatchewan? Stay tuned...
Friday, June 17, 2011
Love me and the world is mine
Ok, folks. Here it is - the inevitable pre-wedding blog entry. I know everyone is sick of hearing me talk about it (even me, somedays!) but it has to happen.
This wedding has been a long time coming. He proposed to me on New Years Eve 2007 – a lifetime ago – in the Dominican Republic. It was the best way to kick off the new year! We never meant to have such a looong engagement but life, as it has a way of doing, kind of got in the way!
I knew I would marry my fiancé just a couple weeks into our relationship. It’s so fun for me to go back in time and read my old journals from when I started dating him.
June 12, 2006
“I've seen TJ every single day since last Friday. Loving every minute of it. We have so much in common and when we're together, we laugh like there's no freakin' tomorrow. How many people can say that they've had their pet turtles run away? Haha. TJ & I can! We're sweet like that.
...And his smile. Oh God. I don't think anyone else's smile has ever (and will ever) have the same effect on me as TJ's does. It's amazing. Contagious. I'm never not smiling when we're together..”
And...five years later, we are still are the dorkiest and funnest people (err...parents!) I know and his smile still is just as gorgeous and as incredibly contagious as ever.
The wedding planning process has been a blast for me. I have spent countless hours ensuring that our wedding is outside of the box and not your average, run of the mill wedding. We want it to be memorable, not just for my fiancé and myself, but for the people who have played such a vital part in our lives and made us who we are. I hope that we have succeeded in that venture.
I can’t believe the wedding day is nearly here. In 8 short days, I will become a Mrs. I have spending my entire life dreaming about my wedding day and to see that it’s almost actually here is very surreal. It's hard to believe that he proposed over three years ago already.
Our lives have changed so much from that love struck couple getting who got engaged in the Dominican Republic on New Years Eve 2007! We have been through hell and back and have had our relationship and commitment for one another tested time and time again but have been there for each other every step of the way.
Yes, I may not be the same 18-year-old who wrote that journal entry I quoted above, but my feelings for TJ have not changed.
Enjoy this flashback to our humble beginnings!
(June 2006, our first photo together as a couple)
(September 2006, my 19th birthday....a big blur for me)
(December 2006, our first Christmas together with the ugliest Christmas tree I've ever seen lol)
(June 2007)
(September 2007, my birthday)
(December 2007, the night he proposed)
(March 2008)
(August 2008)
(October 2008, proud/tired parents!)
(October 2009, our engagement photos)
(October 2009, Melina's 1st birthday)
(October 2009, Halloween after TJ's accident)
(January 2010, during one of TJ's physiotherapy sessions)
(August 2010, my family!)
(April 2011, hands-on training at Project Walk in California)
(June 2011, our wedding shower)
I hope you enjoyed the blast from the past that these photos provided! It was fun putting them together and eye-opening seeing just how much we've been through together as such a young couple! I anticipate our future together.
This wedding has been a long time coming. He proposed to me on New Years Eve 2007 – a lifetime ago – in the Dominican Republic. It was the best way to kick off the new year! We never meant to have such a looong engagement but life, as it has a way of doing, kind of got in the way!
I knew I would marry my fiancé just a couple weeks into our relationship. It’s so fun for me to go back in time and read my old journals from when I started dating him.
June 12, 2006
“I've seen TJ every single day since last Friday. Loving every minute of it. We have so much in common and when we're together, we laugh like there's no freakin' tomorrow. How many people can say that they've had their pet turtles run away? Haha. TJ & I can! We're sweet like that.
...And his smile. Oh God. I don't think anyone else's smile has ever (and will ever) have the same effect on me as TJ's does. It's amazing. Contagious. I'm never not smiling when we're together..”
And...five years later, we are still are the dorkiest and funnest people (err...parents!) I know and his smile still is just as gorgeous and as incredibly contagious as ever.
The wedding planning process has been a blast for me. I have spent countless hours ensuring that our wedding is outside of the box and not your average, run of the mill wedding. We want it to be memorable, not just for my fiancé and myself, but for the people who have played such a vital part in our lives and made us who we are. I hope that we have succeeded in that venture.
I can’t believe the wedding day is nearly here. In 8 short days, I will become a Mrs. I have spending my entire life dreaming about my wedding day and to see that it’s almost actually here is very surreal. It's hard to believe that he proposed over three years ago already.
Our lives have changed so much from that love struck couple getting who got engaged in the Dominican Republic on New Years Eve 2007! We have been through hell and back and have had our relationship and commitment for one another tested time and time again but have been there for each other every step of the way.
Yes, I may not be the same 18-year-old who wrote that journal entry I quoted above, but my feelings for TJ have not changed.
Enjoy this flashback to our humble beginnings!
(June 2006, our first photo together as a couple)
(September 2006, my 19th birthday....a big blur for me)
(December 2006, our first Christmas together with the ugliest Christmas tree I've ever seen lol)
(June 2007)
(September 2007, my birthday)
(December 2007, the night he proposed)
(March 2008)
(August 2008)
(October 2008, proud/tired parents!)
(October 2009, our engagement photos)
(October 2009, Melina's 1st birthday)
(October 2009, Halloween after TJ's accident)
(January 2010, during one of TJ's physiotherapy sessions)
(August 2010, my family!)
(April 2011, hands-on training at Project Walk in California)
(June 2011, our wedding shower)
I hope you enjoyed the blast from the past that these photos provided! It was fun putting them together and eye-opening seeing just how much we've been through together as such a young couple! I anticipate our future together.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Insist on yourself. Never imitate.
I will be honest right out of the gate.
I am starting this blog on the advice of my psychic.
I don’t know what I will talk about. But my psychic advised me months ago that it would be beneficial for me to start a blog. I am meant to write. That’s my career path. And if I don’t start taking that path, the door is going to close before it is even open. That’s a scary thought.
What will the theme of this blog be? I have yet to decide. I follow a few blogs that focus on healthy eating, clean eating, fitness, motherhood, etc. But I am neither confident or versed enough in any of those to start a blog on solely one topic.
So here’s what we have. A blog about my life. Things that happen and have happened to me and my family. Things that are important to me on any given day.
Will I write often? Doubtful. Most days I’m given a few minutes here & there of internet time before my daughter comes and takes me away.
Will people actually read this? Again, doubtful. But I do plan on posting it on Facebook when I make an update.
So, let’s start with the basics.
Who am I?
I am Chantelle. I am 23. I am a cookie dough lover, a fitness enthusiast, a zumba addict, a bookworm, a person who cries excessively over the heartbreaking SPCA commercials (c’mon, how could those sad-eyed animals not pull at your heartstrings), a hater of mosquitoes, totally passive-aggressive, a girl with big dreams, a child at heart, a proud mommy, a lover of all things vintage, a Big Bang Theory addict, a reality TV show hater, a quiet person at first, a woman who hates clothes shopping, a newfound shoe enthusiast and a huge self-proclaimed DORK.
Who am I? I’m not sure I accurately answer this question in the career-aspect of my life. While all of my friends have university degrees and are on their way to fulfilling careers, I am the one who still has no clue what direction to take in life. Yes, I know I should write. But what kind of writing? I tried the newspaper reporter route and it just wasn’t for me. At all. I enjoyed most of the few months I worked for the local newspaper mainly because I stepped out of my box to apply for that job and it was a good experience, overall. I had a taste of what it was to write for a living but it just wasn’t the kind of job that I could continue on with.
I am a mother. While I may not have achieved much when it comes to my career, I have given birth and survived the first two and a half years of my daughter’s life. That is an achievement in and of itself. Motherhood isn’t all sunshine and lollipops. It’s hard. I can’t explain how hard it is to see your child in pain and there’s nothing you can do to fix it aside from excessive cuddling. There’s nothing more rewarding than coming home from work or from a workout and having your daughter run towards you, arms outstretched, yelling “Mommy!! You’re home!!” excitedly. So maybe I don’t have a high paying, high profile job but I bet I can say that my ‘career’ as a Mommy is more rewarding than a six-figure pay cheque. Just sayin’.
I am starting this blog on the advice of my psychic.
I don’t know what I will talk about. But my psychic advised me months ago that it would be beneficial for me to start a blog. I am meant to write. That’s my career path. And if I don’t start taking that path, the door is going to close before it is even open. That’s a scary thought.
What will the theme of this blog be? I have yet to decide. I follow a few blogs that focus on healthy eating, clean eating, fitness, motherhood, etc. But I am neither confident or versed enough in any of those to start a blog on solely one topic.
So here’s what we have. A blog about my life. Things that happen and have happened to me and my family. Things that are important to me on any given day.
Will I write often? Doubtful. Most days I’m given a few minutes here & there of internet time before my daughter comes and takes me away.
Will people actually read this? Again, doubtful. But I do plan on posting it on Facebook when I make an update.
So, let’s start with the basics.
Who am I?
I am Chantelle. I am 23. I am a cookie dough lover, a fitness enthusiast, a zumba addict, a bookworm, a person who cries excessively over the heartbreaking SPCA commercials (c’mon, how could those sad-eyed animals not pull at your heartstrings), a hater of mosquitoes, totally passive-aggressive, a girl with big dreams, a child at heart, a proud mommy, a lover of all things vintage, a Big Bang Theory addict, a reality TV show hater, a quiet person at first, a woman who hates clothes shopping, a newfound shoe enthusiast and a huge self-proclaimed DORK.
Who am I? I’m not sure I accurately answer this question in the career-aspect of my life. While all of my friends have university degrees and are on their way to fulfilling careers, I am the one who still has no clue what direction to take in life. Yes, I know I should write. But what kind of writing? I tried the newspaper reporter route and it just wasn’t for me. At all. I enjoyed most of the few months I worked for the local newspaper mainly because I stepped out of my box to apply for that job and it was a good experience, overall. I had a taste of what it was to write for a living but it just wasn’t the kind of job that I could continue on with.
I am a mother. While I may not have achieved much when it comes to my career, I have given birth and survived the first two and a half years of my daughter’s life. That is an achievement in and of itself. Motherhood isn’t all sunshine and lollipops. It’s hard. I can’t explain how hard it is to see your child in pain and there’s nothing you can do to fix it aside from excessive cuddling. There’s nothing more rewarding than coming home from work or from a workout and having your daughter run towards you, arms outstretched, yelling “Mommy!! You’re home!!” excitedly. So maybe I don’t have a high paying, high profile job but I bet I can say that my ‘career’ as a Mommy is more rewarding than a six-figure pay cheque. Just sayin’.
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